#i get book canon and show canon a bit mixed up but as i said it's 3am cut me some slack

[endearng]

About you

Pairing: Spencer Reid x ex!reader Summary: You know a place that you go to remember Spencer Reid's face. You never thought you'd get to actually see him again. WC: 4.6k Warnings: brief mentions of Spencer's trauma (childhood, addiction); hints at poor coping mechanisms/mental struggles; miscommunication; running away. A/N: This is a mix between canon events and some things are fiction (mostly when it comes to the timeline of the show) and I picture later seasons Spencer. This is based on many songs from ttpd, but this fic came to mind when I was listening to 'About You' by the 1975. I really hope you guys like it. Feedbacks are always welcome and appreciated <3 masterlist

You sat on one of the park benches. Actually, it was on the park bench, near a tree, you used to occupy with Spencer after getting your favorite treats from the coffee shop nearby.

It was your first date as boyfriend and girlfriend and he had started reading to you once the chatter had died down a little bit. He looked beautiful that day, eyes leaving the book pages every now and then so he could catch a glimpse of you. Every time he did, you smiled at him. You were so enamored by his eyes that you didn't care if you were perceived as desperate or too lovestruck when he looked at you. You felt warm inside and for a moment, you thought it could last forever.

From that day on, whenever you could, you'd always go to that park and sit on that specific bench. You even carved your initials in it.

Now, as you caressed the old indentation, dark from all the time that had passed, you were all alone. A hole in your chest.

You were living in Virginia, about to get your Master's Degree. It was the time of the semester when everything seems to be piling up and you can never get the time to take care of it as you should. As you walked home at night, you witnessed a young couple walking into a dark forest, but you didn't mind — horny kids were everywhere and you were glad they had a nice way to let off some steam, not being one to judge someone’s kinks.

The next thing you knew, the FBI wanted to see you. They sent a cute, awfully young agent to your apartment, who introduced himself as 'Doctor Spencer Reid' and waved at you once you answered the door, telling you you had been the last person to witness that young woman alive. You froze, unable to look away from him, sheer shock crossing your intriguing, mesmerizing features. Spencer Reid took more than a minute to try to calm you down to have you answer his questions. Despite your head going miles per minute, you tried to help out as much as you could and were able to describe the man as you managed to recall some of his features.

Then, you had gotten Spencer's number to keep him posted if anything happened, since that unsub was kidnapping and torturing girls from your university. When they wrapped up the case to go home, Spencer went to your building to tell you they were returning to Quantico. You had grown fond of him, his presence a warm embrace compared to the chaos around you, so when he broke the news, you did feel a little disappointed, even though you knew that he would eventually leave. He was sensitive to the matters around him, doing everything in his power and using his intelligence to help everyone around him. It made you grow a sense of hope in other people you haven’t felt in a while.

You took your study break a little earlier that night once you saw him at your doorstep, deciding you'd give him your time. A low "So, you're leaving..." escaping your mouth once he told you why he went to your place. To say goodbye. You couldn't conceal the sadness in your voice.

"Yeah. I just wanted to say goodbye. And to thank you, of course, you helped us a lot." He said, eyes never leaving yours.

"Anytime, Doctor," you joked. "I'm gonna miss you. Even if we've just met. Even if you had to be aware of something so terrible." You confessed. His eyes widened at you in surprise.

His eyes. Big, doe eyes glancing at you like you held the answers to the whole universe.

In that moment, you did. Not his education, not PhD's, plural, not anything he learned from all the books he read and certainly not his time in the bureau. You held the answers.

He chuckled, a little shy. Unable to tell you, verbally, that he would miss you, too. His eyes did the job, though. "Yeah, yeah. It was nice knowing you."

"Yeah, it was," you agreed, coming a little closer to him. You gave him a kiss on his cheek. Soft, warm skin against your lips making butterflies swarm in your belly. He smiled, widely, sincerely.

You wished he was yours.

You also wished he knew that you meant that, 'besides the bad guy and all the terrible things, it was fun meeting you because you are full of light. A masterpiece.'

"Take care, okay, doctor?" You whispered, slowly pulling away from him. “I’ll see you around.”

"Be safe,” he wished, “I hope so, in better conditions."

A few days passed and you got your first call from Spencer, which turned into a second, a third and when you noticed, you were scheduling hang outs. Those turned into dates when you started to go out more frequently to every new place you wanted the other to know. All of that and touching each other more often, more carefully, more passionately than regular friends did.

You simply sat there, your memories the only thing keeping you company, haunting you, besides the tears that pricked in the corner of your eyes. You missed him so much. You missed the time you had with him.

Two years into your relationship, things got more and more complicated. You struggled to keep up with his life and more often than not you seemed to keep much to yourselves instead of sharing things with each other. You never thought you'd share (funny wording) such a distant relationship with someone, let alone one you knew for sure there was so much love and respect. During your time together, you learned about Spencer’s past and some pieces fell into place; he was somehow explained by everything he had faced as a child, teenager and now as an adult — his mother’s condition, his dad walking away, the bullying, being abducted and its consequences. You held him through it all, when the memories and feelings of powerlessness washed over him.

Then, Spencer started to be away more often and the physical distance, enforced by the emotional one that slowly grew between you two, made you feel like you were an intruder in his life. So, you gradually started to hold yourself back from starting conversations. You rarely had his attention and you figured it was because his mind was always elsewhere.

Yours was, too. Back in a time when things were simpler.

As time went by, being around him, too quiet and far out of each other’s reach, simply floating in his orbit, felt like a heavy burden you had to carry in order to keep him in your life. He never opened up and since you didn’t either, you felt like you didn't have the right to suggest you two should fix things, so you let him be. Coexisting together in the same space, oceans apart from each other’s lives and struggles, never touching the subject. The result, of course, was that you grew apart.

It all ended, officially, when you decided to move away to get your Doctorate as an excuse to run away from the hard conversations that you knew would take place if you confronted him about where had things, where had you gone so terribly wrong. You were hell-bent on trying to turn your heartbreak and deception into something, into an achievement. Then, you both decided, albeit reluctantly, that breaking up was the best choice for you, since you’d move away. The part that there was already a huge gap between the two of you remained unspoken. You tried convincing yourself that it would be easier, since you’d never have to see him and you'd be okay being in past chapters of Spencer’s life. 

Funnily enough, it wasn't that simple.

You see, the heart is a tricky machine. The wording here is not random: it works, of course, to primarily pump the blood through your veins to make sure you are getting enough oxygen around your body and deliver waste objects, like carbon dioxide, back to the lungs, to be removed — Spencer had told you so once when you told him your heart beat for him in a corny deliver of a joke. Despite the fact that he was right, you can never anticipate how the heart will react once it has no access to the aim of its affections, after being cut off from their life. Worse: after being slowly dragged away from the one it was sure it would be able to adore for the rest of its pumping-function life. You figured that, maybe it would continue working for as long as it needs to, but not with the same devotion it once knew and now was deprived of.

That was how you passed the last few years of your life.

After Spencer, you weren't really interested in anyone. You tried to put yourself out there, made new friends, tried dating some people, traveled abroad, discovered more about yourself. Nevertheless, in the back of your hopeless mind and dejected heart, you held the memories you had created with him close to your very soul. When things got too quiet, it was him that you thought of. On a train, on the way home or to somewhere new and/or special, in the lazy mornings you spent by yourself, in the nights that got too lonely to bear by yourself, during your lunch breaks that you always seemed to remember how much he loved sharing those with you — stealing food from his plate, even if you didn't like whatever he was having, just so he could steal your dessert to make sharing equal. He got a sweet tooth after dating you.

Now, though, something felt off. You had spent years of your life pining and longing and hoping that you'd find your way back to each other in the end that now you didn't have the guts to search for him. You kept an eye on his life and could remember a thing or two of all his achievements and papers that were published in science magazines, a brief abstract ready to roll off your tongue if someone asked you about it. You tried keeping up with his professional life in order to feel closer to him, but the thing was, you didn't know if he had someone else, if he had moved on more easily than you (not that you had), if he had learned to cope a little better with the hardships of his job. You always said he needed some rest for his noisy mind.

Even the air in your hometown made you think of him. Felt like him: distant, missed and still plaguing your thoughts. It was the aftermath of running away for some time.

In hindsight, perhaps you had only shared fleeting moments with Spencer and it was a frail affair, doomed from day one, knowing how different your lifestyles were. When you got too fed up with your longing and inner romanticism over this relationship, you would try to convince yourself that you were better off without him. That being alone was better than to be by yourself in a relationship that you only kept for the sake of calling him yours.

Still, there was something missing. You didn't know what it was, but you were tired of wasting your time, waiting for a bus that never showed.

Or maybe it did, and perhaps you had missed it.

From afar, Spencer watched, dumbfounded, a figure that resembled someone he once loved so much, sitting on the bench he used to share with you. He still does love. Or maybe he doesn't. He doesn't know, really. He's been through so much, losing loved ones, losing his mother and enduring several trauma after leaving the FBI, never having the time to properly take in the happenings in his life. Could it possibly be you? He could never forget your form, no matter how many years passed and how hard he had tried to do that. His heart started slowing, oxygen lacking in his lungs. He felt dizzy. Was it a mirage?

Memories started to flood his mind and he was unable to move.

Daylight faded, announcing the beginning of the evening. Spencer listened as you read to him one of your favorite novels, The Hour of the Star, a Brazilian novel by Clarice Lispector. It definitely wasn't romantic, but you always made sure to use the correct tone whenever you were reading the characters' lines, and you paused every now and then to make comments and listened when he had one of his own. Those were precious, rare, quiet moments in his hectic life. He cherished them because of that, of course, but most importantly because you were with him.

Once you finished the chapter you were reciting, you noticed how dark it already was and that the lights of the city were already on, casting a soft glow over Spencer. He looked exceptionally, effortlessly beautiful that night. You smiled at him. "Shall we go home, Spence?"

"Yes," he accepted, helping you up. You thanked him with a kiss to his cheek, which made him flustered.

Years together and he could never get used to the effect your touch had on him, always wishing he could have more, more, more.

As you walked home together, he took your ring, a gift from him that was usually placed in your left hand, and put it on the one people put wedding rings on. Your reply was to kiss him senseless in public.

He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him when you abruptly broke the kiss, looking back with a mischievous, happy expression on your face. He trailed after you, one single thought in mind: I'll never let you go.

The woman — he didn't want to deceive himself if she wasn't you, he was staring at her back, after all, so he thought it was better to be careful with his hopes —, had longer hair, fit better into her clothes, but her movements were scarily just like yours. From the way she looked around to the slight tilt of her head when you'd contemplate the park all those years ago. Spencer felt his thoughts clouding with the need to approach her, curiosity driving him to work on this instinct, but as soon as he moved to walk, he instantly halted his movements. What would he say?

"Hello?", "Is that you?" "Are you back?" "Are you real?" "Have you forgotten about me?"

The questions swimmed around his head like he had no control over his own mind. If there was a monitor to show every single thought running through his brain, it would definitely collapse, smoke clouding the air, telling how overwhelmed he felt. He decided on approaching as a passerby, walking as if he didn't want anything by it, acting nonchalant. He made his way closer to the bench, to the woman. 

She heard footsteps behind her, not too close, but still turned to search for the source of the disturbance, out of her daydreaming. You looked at each other for a moment that felt like an eternity — time stopped, the children stopped playing and the passersby stopped breathing.

As you turned around, your eyes found Spencer. The love of your life. You took in his appearance. His hair was long, unlike how it had been when you last saw him, and he didn't care about styling it as much as he did when he was younger, his curls unruly and a little messy, a little stubble growing on his face. His expression looked harder now, more tired, ripe. You couldn't quite know how to describe him properly. For a moment, you considered that he had hardened over the years, opposite from the caring, soft man you've met and loved ardently once.

On a surface level, looking at him made you feel like you've been loving a ghost. A memory, something that could never return.

Your mind suddenly felt empty. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"You?" You heard the question, uncertain, leave his lips in a low voice. Was it in your head or did you sense hurt?

Again, you wanted to speak, to say something, greet him, tell him you've missed him, ask him if he was okay. Nothing came out. Everything seemed inappropriate. Again, he beat you to it, coming closer to you, voice firmer. "What are you... I thought you'd left."

"I did."

"I know."

Silence. He got closer, moving to sit beside you.

"Yeah." Silence. Still looking at each other. "I came back a couple of months ago. Started visiting exactly three weeks ago, today." You revealed to break the silence, even though the idea that everything that came out of your mouth was improper still plagued your mind.

Spencer felt baffled. You looked different, more mature, even your style had drastically changed — you once wore colorful, baggier outfits, full of life and bright shades matching your personality (you even went shopping with Penelope and you exchanged fashion tips), but now, you wore more sober, neutral tones. Instead of the usual sneakers, or the Converse you both loved to wear together to match your outfits — his black and yours blue —, you wore black boots with heels. You looked grown. And it fit you. Still, your face was the same: your eyes held the same glimmer in them from all those years ago, your lips still as inviting as it ever was for him.

He licked his own, realizing his mouth was dry. "I come here every now and then when things get too heated." He confided, eyes never leaving your figure.

You smiled. A hole in his chest, desolation invading his being. The simple act still makes his machine of a heart ache and speed to reach its full capacity. Of breaking for you. "It's peaceful."

You knew that he seeked solace from whatever was happening in your memories together in that place. At least, you hoped so. You hoped, selfishly, that he thought of you as much as you thought of him, of his ghost. That he ached for you as much as you ached for him.

"Yeah."

Awkward silence engulfed the two of you. You didn't know where to look, but you could never stop scanning his face, taking in his features with care. "I like your hair. It fits you," you said.

He got closer, less than an arm's length between the two of you. Almost itching for you to touch his hair, eyes pleading for some mercy on your end. You've been awfully quiet and if meeting him maim you, you certainly have improved your poker face skills. "You've changed," he retorted. "I never thought I'd see you so different from, you know..."

You didn’t remember Spencer at a loss of words.

Too close. "I hope for the better."

"Why didn't you call?" He asked, brows furrowing.

Come to think of it, it was an excuse you had rehearsed quite a few times when you imagined this scenario, “I was settling, still trying to contact everyone, still finding my way around…”

“And you didn’t think of me?” His tone was wounded. He certainly dreamed you’d come back and was positively sure that you’d reach out to him. Of course, he was wrong.

“Of course I did. I just thought you wouldn't pick up,” you replied.

He didn’t know what to say. Of course he would pick up, but there was no way you could know about it nor trust him if he said so; why would you? You had left him because he built walls around him, cutting you off from his life, torturing you, slowly dragging the end of your relationship and he couldn’t explain why. Once you left, Spencer delved into his work life like never before. He flirted with women and even slept around, which he was aware was a poor coping mechanism, all to outrun the desertion of you, desperately wishing he could forget that he could feel alive in your presence. He even tried having a relationship. It was nice having someone around, now that he was grown and had made peace with some of his demons, but it was never like you and it was all that she was to him: someone around. He never felt that spark with her like he had felt with you, never again having a taste of the sensation that ran through him whenever he stumbled excitedly into your apartment when you invited him over, seizing the rare opportunities to be with you, happiness bubbling inside him. With his new girlfriend, it was quiet. He mistook it for the calmness he lacked within himself when he was with you, but it was just bland. Needless to say, he felt awful about straight up using a person to keep his mind off of you, but it was nice while it worked. He started longing for something he couldn’t even describe what it was.

One day, you guys met halfway, between the two cities you were both in. It was raining and you launched yourself into his arms once you recognized him. You had kissed him like a soldier's wife, for you sure definitely missed him like one — he had been away on a case which took longer than usual. “Hi,” you greeted, shyly, after giving him the hottest kiss of his life.

“Hi,” he smiled, a little flushed.

“I couldn't wait to get to you, Spence,” you confessed, arms pulling him back to hug you once again, his own engulfing your figure. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too. I miss you all the time.” He said, burying his face into the crook of your neck, wet hair prickling on his skin. He peeled himself away from you, taking a deep breath. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

The squealed “Yes!” before you kissed him ardently once more was forever ingrained into his mind.

Amidst his reverie, you stood up from your seat. The wind tousled your hair slightly, so you used your left hand to tuck it behind your ear. The street lights reflected their light on a ring you had on your left hand. He recognized it instantly. “I should go,” you murmured, slightly graceless.

“You still have it.”

You looked at him, still sitting and nodded softly. You were hit with the realization that he also remembered you. It didn’t matter that it was such a small thing about you, relief flooded your veins at the very thought that he thought of you. “I do.”

You waved at him, your lips turned upwards shyly. You turned your back and started walking away from him. Again, he thought. And again, he let you, without putting up a fight, which he was aware that he should have done. The elephant in his chest was a light weight compared to the heavy truth dancing around in his throat. Said truth would become much bigger, a heavier burden for him to carry, once it made its way out of him. Speaking made it real. He knew it because every memory that he kept of you, in a sacred, untouched area of his own consciousness, was full of comfort after sharing uncomfortable truths.

It was like his heart screamed at him to keep searching, to keep trying for the person who made it beat faster. But his brain, foggy with all the logic and terrible, horrid things he had to face, decided it was best to keep himself away from you, to save himself the trouble of being the target of pity, or worse, being another person who left him.

From that day on, you’d casually visit the park, secretly wishing you could see him more. It didn't take too long until your wishes were granted, no matter how private you thought they were. Perhaps they were all over your face and he could still read you so easily. Despite the apparent capacity of reading your wants, you were positively sure that Spencer didn't know what to say, just like you. Everything, including him, felt as distant as you had left it. You weren't sure if you could go back, but running away was just as troublesome: you had to adapt in order to survive, but everyone else surrounding you was already fit to the environment. You stuck out like a sore thumb, unable to connect with anyone but the protagonist from past memories of what once was a happy relationship.

Every time you were there, you sensed someone looking at you shortly after your arrival. It was like an unspoken agreement between the two of you, to try to talk things through without rushing into anything, trying to conquer the other's forgiveness by sharing both ordinary and big moments you had during your time apart. As you sat down and talked and shared, you realized that you'd never stop loving him, not even for a second, not even if you could. You had tried and failed, and kept coming back for more to fall in love with the same person over and over.

These encounters quickly turned into the best moments of Spencer's weeks, getting to be filled in on the things he had missed in your life. You had shown him photos, your new degree, new friends, discussed details about your job and how things were in your family. All of that wrapped in intricate, subtle details on how much you'd turned into a person he was already feeling proud of. You had grown into a strong-willed woman who managed to keep your heart as pure as the day you had met him. You still had the traits that made you fall in love with him.

One day, you two were sitting on the bench and you pointed to your initials on it. “Heh, I remember that day. You kept worrying someone was going to show up and stop me from doing it.”

He smiled. “I'm glad no one did.”

“It's funny, isn't it?” You asked, eyes on the indentation, not expecting him to answer due the lack of context. He frowned. “I mean, us. Acting like we don't know each other just for the sake of spending time together.”

He thought for a moment. With your shameless comment, you were definitely daring him to say something. Daring him to make things real, but better this time. “I like that idea,” he said, getting you to look at him. “Don't you? We get to meet each other again. I get to meet you again and I get to make sure that, this time, I'll never let you go.”

“You still don't know me enough to say that with such sureness,” you said, feeling bashful all of a sudden. It was also one of your behaviors that got him so enthralled, once again. Your capacity of saying something and then act coyly, as if you didn't know what he was talking about. Almost backtracking on whatever you had said that was a little more risky than the usual chatter.

He wouldn't let you.

“I want to.”

His tone made you speechless. Your expression turned into one of sheer, pure enchantment. It told him everything he needed to know.

Everything bad was now under the bridge and you could finally have each other back after being so patient.

He now remembered what it was that he missed so dearly in his life.

You.

[stealingyourbones]

I don't really get the people who think reading the comics is such a radical idea. Don't they want to learn more about them? aren't they curious what makes them tick? what insane adventures they went on? what fears they have? what makes them laugh and smile? I'm from europe so I haven't seen any of the DC shows I see mentioned every once in a while (which means I really don't get the whole Clark hates clones thing... but that's a different thing) and it's only been this year that I have enough disposable income to splurge on comics, aka I haven't read that many just yet.

But I do think the ones I have read enhance the stories I'm trying to tell, which to me is a good reason to read them ;p but besides that, they are fun! they are just really fun to read

I’m glad you’re having fun reading comics man! It’s a shame that folks don’t read them as much but you know, I can understand it. I both asked some folks in the Haunting Heroes discord server and have some of my own points to make about this.

First of all I do still believe that you should consume some form of DC media if you’re in the fandom. It’s fun and there are comics, books, movies, tv shows, and every other form of medium known to man that you can take a peek at! Idk I’m just a bit DC enjoyer and think that looking at canon media to expand on your knowledge and help create ideas you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t looked at said piece of media.

Now onto why reading comic books is hard:

Some folks simply prefer the fandom and not the official DC content. Whether they prefer fanon, find fics more accessible, or like the people in the fandom, they’d rather just stick to the fandom.

They simply don’t know where to start. Getting into comics can be INCREDIBLY overwhelming ( DC has done their best to fix this and has messed up more than once. My go to is to reccomend folks just start reading New 52 comic runs as it’s really good for new readers to jump into the comics with any hero that might intrigue them). Big comic events span multiple comic story runs and not a cohesive line of comics, some omnibuses for stories are out of print, the 80+ years of comics are daunting as hell, and everyone has their own opinion on the best versions of a character/where to start/what to read.

Money. Comics are an expensive hobby to have. They may cost $1-$5 each on average but that price adds up over time. I have a comic collection of roughly 1,300 comics. I’d estimate its value very roughly around the $7,800 range. It’s probably far more than that though and I know damn well reselling it I won’t get half of that value back. I’m very fortunate to be a college student with disposable income and for this hobby to be the only thing I ever really spend money on besides rent and food. Some people either can’t afford them or don’t want to buy a comic they don’t know if it’s good or not.

Varying quality. Comics are a very mixed bag thing where they can be incredibly written or some of the worst pieces of media you’ve ever read. With this being the case, it can be really hard to find a comic character or writer you like if that’s your first experience. It takes a while to learn about different writers and find out who your favorite writers are. What’s harder is some writers can make absolute masterpieces with one character and the next comic run they cover it can be absolute garbage. Not only that, everyone has opinions on what is a good comic run or not. It’s impossible to find a repeatedly stated and easily accessible list on the good comics to read.

Pretentious “Canon is God” fans. Experiencing “um actually this isn’t good because this isn’t how the canon character would act” responses from people can really fucking suck and diminish their want to experience anything that’s official DC writing. I’ve seen more than one person go into this primarily fanon focused space and insult people saying their writing isn’t canonical and therefore it isn’t valid. It’s Uber Pretentious, demeaning, and actively harms peoples interests in checking out canon content.

Timelines. I already kind of said it but DC’s timelines are a mess. hell, even New 52 has some fucked up timelines making all of Batman’s previous timelines canon but happen only within a seven year period. That’s WAY too short for how much history is packed in there. The amount of crisises that happen and fully change the lore and timelines of characters is bonkers, the comic runs that bounce between different comic runs are really confusing, and the fact that there isn’t a True Starting Point for reading makes it so hard to grasp anything that’s happening. It’s one of comics biggest issues and no matter what DC has done they have yet to find a convenient solution.

Sensitive Content. Comics from DC are littered with either intentional, badly aged, or ignorantly written plot points and writing choices that will turn away readers. DC has its fair share of sexism, misogyny, abelism, racism, abuse, sexual harassment, sexual assaults, or topics casually addressed that can be very triggering for some people. Especially since a large amount of that sort of content is handled incredibly poorly. One particular writer, Alan Moore, writes sexual assault scenes with absolutely zero tact or the delicateness that a topic such as that should be held in. It’s almost solely used as a “let’s make the bad guy do the most fucked up thing they could do” throwaway plot point. Comics of the sort dissuade a lot of readers because of both the heavy content within comics and how that content can be incredibly poorly handled. This is partially why some folks would prefer to read fics. Comics are a unknown mixed grab bag when it comes to content like this and things exactly like this is known to make PTSD symptoms worse while fics have tags and can warn you before you consume the content within.

Time. A lot of folks have busy lives and just don’t have the time to read them.

The ways they intake media. Some folks might have a better time watching a long commentary video that explains a comic or their brain can’t process the comic medium very well. I can read and retain comic knowledge but even I am unique in this aspect, my memory is frightening levels of bad and is proven by science to be absolute shit. I have to reread comics at least once a month to retain the basic bare bones plot. Just because one person can easily digest what’s going on in a comic doesn’t mean everyone can.

Comics are such a big part of my life. I love them so much and they’ve gotten me through so many things. My own experience with comics isn’t the same for others and my thoughts on reading comics differs with other people. A lot of people have equally as many reasons for why they don’t read comics as you and I have for reading them.

[destiny-in-the-universe]

Pines Headcanons [Happy Birthday, Grunkles]

I cannot believe I just now got reminded of this- holy shit. Unfortunately, I'm not an artist so have these headcanons instead about Stan and Ford

Stanley ‘Lee’ Pines

He’s bisexual. This is not up for debate (/lh). It just made sense for him 

Stanley is ambidextrous. He can write and utilize both his left and right hands. This was something he self-taught himself in after the portal accident 

On the power of ‘I said so’, Stan does have some level of book smarts but instead of math or science- it’s creative writing. He’s got the talent for it; however, he rarely - if ever - shares these stories with anyone

Stan has some form of neurodivergency. Young Stan definitely gives the impression of ADHD but also I feel he’s got dyslexia- don’t ask me why. This is canon now

He does have scars from the time he spent on the run and doing his sales. I’m not sure what they are exactly, but just know he has them 

Stan knows martial arts. Other than boxing, I feel he would’ve taught himself in other forms of fighting- like the ones done on the streets and it’s a weird mix of martial arts and free-style fighting

He can be a bit of a poet, but for the most part- Stan prefers show-and-tell as his love language. He will present his partner with gifts, and makes sure they understand he’s there for them 

He’s kind of protective over his partners, and definitely has gotten into fights in an attempt to protect their honor. It’s ill-placed sometimes but he’s not about to let some bozo mess with them

Stan always sought his father’s approval. He attempted multiple times to perfect his studying skills before the science fair accident, but apparently Old Pa Pines didn’t seem to notice and the rest, well, it was already history

He fantasized of being a pirate when he was a kid. This is where the whole thing of going on a seafaring adventure with Ford came from! Unfortunately due to canon events, this soured out but he held onto a photograph he and Ford took in front of the beach as a memoir

He’s very much not a big fan of vegetables

Stanford ‘Ford’ Pines

He’s arospec and ace!

Ford absolutely loves puzzles. Why? It just weirdly fitting for his character

He definitely has C-PTSD following the events of Weirdmaggedon

Autistic Ford? Autistic Ford. There is no way he doesn’t have it- I said what I said

Before he got involved in the strange and paranormal, one of Ford’s main interests was actually crystals and rocks! It felt weirdly fitting for his character, and here we are

Ford is more of a cat person. At one point, he rescued a cat-adjacent creature from an auction and named her ‘Nova’. Of course, it’s far from a cat but well, we’ll get to that later

He would be into LARP if it exists in the Gravity Falls canon. Like, that man is a nerd and already enjoys the show’s version of Dungeons and Dragons, there’s just no way he wouldn’t participate in LARP

He does have scars from his time in other dimensions for thirty years. He’s very secretive about them and doesn’t let anyone see- not even Stanley

Ford deals with the aftermath of a burnt-out gifted kid- like, he was the prodigal son and got all the right honors, scores, all of it but as he got older- the more he struggled, the more he felt like something was missing. As the golden child, he was brought up with the notion he would be important but then got smacked in the face when he realized none of it truly mattered

He had a lot of issues adjusting to his new life in Gravity Falls, Oregon after he was brought back from the portal. Ford’s triggered fight-or-flight response would kick in with unexpected situations- like, he’s definitely pulled a blaster/space gun

He likes hot chocolate

Ford enjoys cuddle piles, let’s be honest here. Once he gets more comfortable, he begins making nests with the rest of the Pines family

He’s protective of his family!

I’ll try and come up with new headcanons soon, but since I took too long releasing this- given I got sick unfortunately, I decided to post a smaller version 

[cynthiav06]

Percy is a dude from the category of screaming "what the hell did you do!" and solve all the problems in 5 minutes. Everyone would have been dead a long time ago if it wasn't for him.

I have mixed opinions on this. On one hand, Percy is the type of person to wait about for the problem to disappear by itself just so he doesn't have to deal with it. Cause even before he found out he was a demigod, he was 100% done with everyone's shit.

But I do agree that he would be able to solve all problems because through so many books we have seen that no matter how much prior planning Annabeth or the Seven or anyone else does, Percy always does his own thing at the end. And it works out mostly for the better than whatever initial situation anyone else had in mind because Percy thinks almost too well on his feet. Every time.

But Percy has such low self esteem that he sees the fact that he has to make so many improvisations more so as his plans never working as less so as an exceptional ability to adapt. Especially when at times he can easily sense that some titan/giant is too powerful so he maneuvers around a direct fight and ends up defeating them by pure strategy and still ends up thinking of himself as "Oh shit I seriously had no plans. I am so reckless and stupid".

His whole character arc could have been evolving into a more confident and self assured but still the usual sarcastic laid back version of himself who no longer doubts his own abilities and becomes the great leader he showed many signs of being. But no, Rick had to ruin it all because, for some reason, 10+ books later and almost all the characters are still the same, just decorated with even more trauma. Rick being Rick, and instead of showing characters working out their traumas and insecurities, he just slaps a relationship on them, and lo and behold, all is better again somehow.

I am kind of disappointed that we never got to see Percy or any other members of the Seven do any solo missions(aside from Annabeth in MoA) . She almost had the very quintessential realization about she needs others and how her hubris will ruin everything if she doesn't keep it in check only for whatever she was doing in the later parts House of Hades and all of Chalice of the Gods to take away even that little bit of character development.

And cause solo missions working out perfectly well for Percy while most other demigods struggle a bit to make it work might finally make him realize that his plans don't suck and he is actually a really really good strategist and somehow an even better manipulator. (Though more on that and his observational skills later).

Or make characters like Frank and Leo whose unique abilities and perspectives on combat could have been shown off more, making them all become more self-reliant.

And even so we could finally get proper idea of limits of certain characters like Piper (cause charmspeak isn't going to get her everywhere) or Hazel (we so need more scenes of her surprising demigods and monsters with not only her unique jewel abilities and her magic.) Plus Nico's combat limits, Jason's stamina limits (no I am not considering that part of canon, you can't tell me it's true, I refuse to stand by it), Thalia's character development as well as her honing her powers and combat abilities more.

So yeah, we really should have gotten a few solo missions instead of so many short stories and all. And a bit more cross-over highlighting the power levels between the Norse, Greek, Roman, and Egyptian demigods/magicians/Valhalla residents/Valkyrie and so on.

To sum it up, tons of missed opportunities by Riordan and even more tragic and terrible progression of previously great characters who just needed a well-made character arc or even some favoritism. (I am looking at Grover and Rachel, who both could have done so so much if Rick had only realized the awesome potential they had).

I have said it many times that it's #percy jackson supremacy. So hell yes everyone would be dead without him, and he is arguably the best protagonist out of any other fantasy action book series. All hail Percy Jackson, the master of sass, and the most beloved but somehow still the most misinterpreted character in the fandom. Really liked this ask, would love more of these regarding Percy or any other characters.

[hundredandsix]

loser!ellie headcanons (part two)

Thank you for all the love on part one! I can never get enough of loser!ellie so here's some more. This is a mix of canon!ellie and modern!ellie. Slutty thoughts at the end. mdni (18+)

✩ She bought a skateboard because of some video she saw on TikTok, but she's actually really good at it. She likes it when you watch her and she tries to show off. She'll teach you if you let her, but that's mostly so she can feel you up while she's helping you. She will always be there to catch you when you fall. If you get so much as a bruise, she whips around with the first aid kit.

✩ If you mention any sort of interest that you have, she'll want to learn everything about it. Whether it's a song you like or your favorite book, she wants to know it inside and out. Her interests are really important to her, and she likes when you talk to her about them, so she wants to show you that same love.

✩ She will play guitar to impress you. In the game, this was her way of making a move on Dina and I just l love that ("Maybe I could play guitar for you later" 😏). I hate to say it, but she is definitely very pretentious about her music taste. She'd be like "I'm gonna play you a song, but you probably don't know it. It's pretty underground." Her skills make up for it, though. And watching her fingers slide across the fretboard is an added bonus.

✩ Her nails are so short. She's always playing with her fingers and biting her nails when she's nervous. She tries to grow her nails out on her left hand so she can strum her guitar better with her fingers, but she ends up biting them down every time.

✩ Speaking of her fidgeting, she loves it when you try to ease her anxiety. You're constantly pulling her fingers away from her mouth and setting your hand on her thigh to stop her from bouncing it. She'd really like it if you put your fingers in her mouth instead, but she wouldn't voice that.

✩ When she has a crush, she's aware that until she gets to know them, she's just falling for the version of them in her head, but she can't bring herself to care. She is a little delusional, but that's not going to stop her from imagining your wedding even though she has said maybe three words to you.

✩ Her brain malfunctions when she sees even the slightest glimpse of the skin under your clothes. When you lean forward and your shirt rides up your back a bit, her hand is already reaching out to grab you. She can't help it. The feeling of your soft skin against her palm is like heaven to her.

✩ If you got coffee together, she'd either order it black or as an iced espresso to seem cool and mysterious. She'd choke it down, but then you'd roll your eyes and share yours with her. It makes it even better because canonically she hates coffee, but she wants to at least try to like the things you like.

✩ She has terrible insomnia. Sometimes she forgets that you go to sleep at a normal time, and you'll wake up to find 20 text messages from her throughout the night. She'd take selfies in the .5 setting and tell you to set it as your phone background.

✩ She doesn't like coffee, but her insomnia has led her to ingest an unhealthy amount of energy drinks. She likes Monster the best because the cans look cool.

✩ She'd roll her eyes when you call her pretty, but she secretly loves it. Ellie has never really viewed herself as beautiful. It doesn't bother her, but she needs to be shown that beauty exists in other ways than the male gaze. She just wants to be your pretty girl :(

✩ This is off-topic, but she for sure has a thing for milfs. She'll joke about it with you, but she's dead serious. It's probably the mommy issues...

✩ Her phone case is clear but, as all clear phone cases do, turns brownish. She refuses to change it because there's a Polaroid of the two of you in the back and she's worried it will get bent if she tries to take the case off.

✩ Has polaroids of you everywhere. She doesn't actually own the camera, so she always steals it from you when she comes over. There's one in her wallet, a couple on her fridge, and a few special ones under her mattress ;)

✩ Anytime you go out, she will absolutely under no circumstances let you pay. Even if there's $2 in her bank account. She doesn't care. It's a pride thing. You remind her that she doesn't always have to take on that role in the relationship, but she just wants to take care of you.

✩ She will not bring you around Joel until you are officially together because he can be clueless and will expose her loserish ways. He's also one of the most important people in her life, so she wants to be sure you'll stick around before she gets more vulnerable with you.

✩ She loves feeling wanted. So many people have abandoned her in her life that she needs someone who is secure and will sort of act as a foundation. She loves when out of your way to do things for her without expecting anything in return.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

✩ Just because of all she's been through, I can't imagine her liking choking. But that being said, she loves it if you just rest your hand at the base of her neck or over her pulse point. She likes the weight of it and the trust it shows. Her hand always seems to find its way there on your neck when things are getting steamy.

✩ I could see her calling herself "daddy" as a joke. Like when she hits her target on the first try she'd jokingly say "Who's your daddy?" But if you kept bringing it up and initiated it in the bedroom, I think she would accidentally develop a liking for it. She'd try and fail to suppress laughter if you called her "mommy" though.

✩ She loves to mark you. Sometimes she feels like she doesn't deserve you, so it helps her to look at the marks she leaves behind and remember those tender moments between the two of you.

✩ One time she was going down on you, and all the stimulation randomly disappeared. You looked down and she was leaving hickeys in the shape of an "E" on your inner thigh. She likes having little secrets like that. Sure, you have other friends and commitments, but at the end of the day, you will be hers in ways people can't even comprehend.

✩ Poor baby would combust when you praise her. Just keep telling her how good she's doing and how she's making you feel. She can nearly get off to your voice on its own.

✩ She has a thing for morning sex. You aren't sure if it's your messy hair or the sound of your groggy morning voice, but she can't get enough of you. She loves that you are the first thing she sees in the morning and gets so overwhelmed with emotion that she just has to show you what she's thinking about.

✩ She's not grossed out by period sex. She won't go down on you, but she's seen plenty of grosser things than a little blood. Plus she hates to see you in pain and will do anything to give you relief. Even if it's only temporary.

✩ You'll just be going through your day, and she'll randomly send you the horniest, filthiest text to ever exist. She might even send a photo of how you're making her feel if you're lucky.

✩ This is another thing she won't admit, but she loves when you tease her. She'll complain and whine and cover her blushy face with her fists, but she likes being under your control. And the payoff is worth it, of course.

✩ She's a hypocrite because she's an even bigger tease than you are. She'll wear rings just because you like them on her and rub her middle and ring finger around the rim of her glass in public. She'll keep you chasing for it until you're practically on your knees begging.

✩ If you put "my" in front of the pet names you use on her, you can visibly see her pupils dilate. She doesn't really care what you call her as long as she's yours.

✩ She really likes edging you, but if you even try that with her, she'll push you away and start getting herself off. There's only so much she can take before the chase gets to be too much.

✩ Before you got together, I think she would masturbate as much as you could in an apocalypse. But after it's official, I think she would rather wait for you than get off herself. She has the polaroids of you for dire circumstances like when she has to be away for a while, but to her, there's nothing better than the real thing. She knows from experience that your hand down her pant feels much better than her own.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[collegeboysam]

My main Devil's Minion theory for the finale, taking into account both the show so far and parts of the books, is this:

Armand has been giving Daniel his blood (in his drinks, in his food, in his IV drip) to cure his Parkinson's. But, without realizing, it caused secondary effect he didn't expect: the blood is what helped Daniel remember what happened in San Francisco. And will continue to help him remember more and more as time goes by. Perhaps do even more than that in season 3.

Leaving the long ass explanation as to why I think this could be it along with heavy book spoilers:

To me, one of the biggest clues for this is that Daniel does not remember anything about the first interview beyond the moment Louis invites him to his place (Daniel says he always wakes up at that moment anytime he thinks about it), which is the exact moment when Armand appears.

He does not remmeber him this until he goes to Dubai and is around Armand for the first time in decades.

Daniel's answer about him "waking up" at that point everytime indicates he has tried to remember that day all these years but he never could go beyond that point. And I don't think that talking about it with Louis is what made the memoris return.

The first time Daniel sees Armand in the dream after all these years, is the exact same day that he gets his levodopa transfusion. That night, after he falls asleep on the couch, he sees Armand arrive at the bar and from then on he continues remembering more and more details.

This ties back to the books, since in Queen of the Damned and more so in the Devil's Minion chapter we find out in the 70s-80s Armand used to feed Daniel his blood. Since the first time Armand feeds Daniel, he has visions. It creates a connection between him and Armand but later on also allows him to have very vivid dreams and have visions that only vampires should be seeing.

It's an established canon detail that consuming Armand's blood as a human makes Daniel have dreams/visions related to Armand and other vampires.

We still don't if DM's happened as it did in the books (at least the part about his 12 year relationship with Armand, since he ofc never got turned in his 30s), but there is a clear connection with the book.

In the show, he shouldn't be dreaming and remembering Armand in the first interview, since Armand erased his memory with his mind gift. Armand is a really old vampire, he has Marius' blood, his erasing of Daniel's memory should not have stopped working randomly.

And I don't think is random, I think it's happening because of the vampire blood is mixing with his medicine and food. It's making him remember and see things he once forgot since the mix is not only curing him, it's taking down the walls Armand himself put in his brain.

I don't think this is what Armand intended, it can be a secondary reaction he didn't anticipate.

Why the mix works on Daniel in particular? Could be any reason they want: Armand's blood is that powerful since he's ancient, it works because Daniel used to drink his blood in the 80s so his body is used to it and now mixing medicine with said blood has a reaction it never has with anyone else, it works because it's mixed with this particular medicine, etc. They can go with many options here and change it depending on what they decide for DM's in the 80s.

Now, another reason why I'm suspicious about the blood-in-medicine bit is another spoiler from the books: Doctor Fareed is actually a vampire. Not only that, he and his immortal companion and maker (Seth) develop medical science on vampires. Additionally, they run a clinic for the treatment of mortals, particullarly for incurable medical conditions. Parkinson's is incurable.

To me it's not too far fetched that Armand has asked Fareed this favor, of mixing the levodopa with his blood.

What vampire blood can do in the books isn't really a deus ex maquina, since it has it's limitations and it doesn't seem like it could be so potent it can cure every human condition ever and recover vampires from all injuries, but the show has not followed 1:1 all the rules from Vampire Chronicles either. Armand being immune to the sun being one of them, and it's a pretty important one, yet they added that right in.

This doesn't have to mean that vampires could now cure all incurable condutions with ancient vampire blood. It could be only Daniel: because he had it before in the 80s and formed a connection to Armand, or maybe because it's Armand's blood in particular (and he's not interested in helping anyone else lol.)

Transfusion aside, we now have the hint that Daniel likes his martinis better when Armand makes them. Because Armand puts more vermouth in them. Per Armand himself, Lestat tasted "like vermouth and annihilation". Could it be that vermouth is just generally what vampire blood tastes like?

Daniel could like the taste of Armand's drinks because they had traces of his blood in season 1. Armand could know how to make them perfectly because he remembers how Daniel likes them (maybe he used to add the blood as an ingredient just for the taste back in the day lol, since Daniel liked it so much.)

There are other scenes where we see Daniel asking "Rashid" personally for a refill of what looks like wine in one episode. And Armand does grab the cup to bring him more. We see him making Daniel a martini in another scene in particular, when Louis tells him "he's lingering."

Daniel having different drinks, courses of food, more drinks, dessert, it's shown many times in the first season and Armand is always around.

Perhaps Armand saw that only feeding Daniel his blood wasn't doing much and that's when he decides to go with the IV drip. More direct method, straight to Daniel's veins. As soon as he does, Daniel starts to remember.

Being "Rashid" is what gave Armand this advantage, since it would have been suspicious to have an ancient vampire who supposely "doesn't know Daniel", making him martinis and bringing him drinks, keeping tabs on his medical treatments and scheduling him a doctor.

But as a supposed member of the staff and pseudo asistent, Daniel thought it was kinda normal that Armand was doing these things for him.

And why would Armand want to help Daniel? There's a couple of options to choose from:

DM's did happen in the 80s and he still cares for Daniel, loves him even: It's important to note that one of Armand's big hopes when he's with Daniel is for Daniel to grow old. Armand wanted him to live his mortal life and mature, experience life as a human to its fullest. Daniel would argue and constantly try to push Armand to turn him when he was "still young". (Also motivated by Armand's own looks, he wanted to be with Armand as an immortal and also appear young next to Armand.) But for Armand, what was important was Daniel living his human life, as he would love him regardless of his physical age. Not to mention Armand is sure the maker-fledgling bond is destined to fail, and all fledglings will eventually resent their makers, he doens't want Daniel to hate him and end their relationship. Daniel argues that as a human he could die at any moment, as a vampire he can be strong like Armand, he doesn't have to worry about protecting him, and they can be together forever, young and now. This causes tons of fights between them. The show has actually given Armand what he wanted in the books, and it's Daniel growing old. In the show, he made Daniel forget their relationship when they reached the impass of Daniel wanting to let himself die on purpose so Armand would have no option but to turn him. Armand, not wanting to take Daniel's life away, erases his memory to protect Daniel and let him have a normal life. (There's also the theory that erasing so much, 12 years, out of Daniel's mind is what have him parkinson's eventually.) Additionally, per the books, Armand was correct and once he turns Daniel he starts to resent him as his maker and they break up for a while. Armand knows Daniel is strong and can take care of himself, so he doesn't force him to stay. But Daniel loses his mind while being away from Armand (Armand doesn't know this), ends in the care of Marius of all people, but eventually Armand goes looking for him and Daniel becomes his immortal companion once more, choosing him over Marius. Daniel and Armand end up together as endgame. I think the show has changed the time Daniel spends with Marius, and has instead made the breakup happen between them from the 80s to the current timeline, by the means of Armand never turning him and erasing his memory instead.

DM didn't happen: Let's say DM has not been a thing so far (but with all the looks between Armandaniel and all the devil minion's easter eggs they have put in these 2 seasons, I doubt it. But hey let's consider!) Louis said Daniel was a testament of their relationship enduring. Armand is currently desperate to save it, so he's saving Daniel to somehow show and hint to Louis their relationship should too. Daniel can't die when Armand knows his relationship with Louis is deteriorating, it could be taken almost as a sign that is time to end their relationship as well. In this scenario, I imagine DM's happens after Dubai. Louis and Armand break up, Armand follows Daniel because he blames him for he breakup (since he opened cracks in their relationship) and is when he tells Daniel to keep him entertained or he will kill him, starts stalking him, etc. This also makes sense because originally, Armand starts stalking Daniel in a time period he and Louis have broken up.

Extra: Does Louis know of Armand's plans? Unclear to me. I think it could go either way. Armand is so good at making plans and knitting webs to get wat he hopes/wishes for, he could be doing the entire thing without letting Louis know, going along with the interview because he has other interests for having Daniel close. At the same time, I think Louis wouldn't mind helping Daniel stay alive so he can live longer, publish the book, and I think he considers Daniel a friend. He even offers him the dark gift at one point in the 1st season. But does Louis know of the time Armand spend with Daniel if DM's happened? We'll see.

Finally, I believe this leaves them with many options for season 2:

Does Daniel start to get addicted to the blood? Does he need to keep consuming it to continue to get better? Will consuming it more and more cause for more memories of Armand to return?

Not only that, he can start having visions that directly connect "The Vampire Lestat" with the main plot of "Queen of the Damned". He can be the one to start seeing what Akasha is planning.

The actor for doctor Fareed is going to appear again in season 3. I think that's particular. Even if he's a vampire, he doesn't appear until way later in the books and so far he has only appeared for Daniel's sake. He could be continuing his treatment, giving him more of Armand's blood, and in season 3 Daniel could keep on remembering more and more about Armand or start to form a connection with him because now he needs his blood to stay/get better, but that connection could lead to many other feelings and situations.

That's what I think so far.

I'm more inclined to believe DM's did happen in the 80s, since there have been many clues scattered around these two seasons, but even if they decide to make DM's happen in the current timeline, the blood-feeding could still make sense to me.

But hey, there's also the option that DM did happen, but something health related affects Daniel and Armand sees himself forced to turn Daniel into a vampire in the season finale, since he cannot live with the idea of Daniel dying. Which is why he was maybe giving him his blood in the first place. Having fed him his blood before (and now) could affect how Daniel behaves as a vampire.

And hey, if all this is for nothing and Armand never gave him his blood and I'm fully delusional 🤡, then I guess I'll use it for a fic or something hahaha since I think it makes sense to me anyway lmao.

One way or another tho, there are enough hints for Armandaniel to come to usssss in season 3 FOR SURE.

[agentrouka-blog]

What made you first interested in Jonsa? I really want to love Jonsa. Which may sound strange. But hear me out. I’ve read all the metas and from a metatextual level I really agree with and believe in Jonsa. But I have trouble actually enjoying it and I think maybe it’s because so much content seems to focus on Jon pining over Sansa. I’d much prefer to see things from Sansa’s perspective where she sees the hero in him and sees that maybe all the songs aren’t lies after all as opposed to him “winning her over.” I feel I have been inundated my whole life with stories of outcast men pining over beautiful women they see as out of their league and “winning them over” and I honestly find the trope tiring because it’s so male perspective focused and doesn’t give Sansa the agency of choosing her lover, instead, making her something to be won or earned. If you have any suggestions for Jonsa content that focuses heavily on Sansa’s point of view, on her falling for Jon first (or at least falling for each other at the same time without realizing it) I’d love to hear them! And I’d love to hear what makes Jonsa appeal to you on a personal non-meta level!

Hi there!

I too draw a difference between Jonsa as a theory and shipping it for entertainment.

I've drifted quite a bit away from what you describe as "content", which is fanworks, art and fanfiction. My tastes are very narrow and that puts me outside the target audience for a lot of what is being shared by creators. Plus, I get a great deal more personal enjoyment out of just interpreting the canon text. I enjoy what the couple represents in the narrative more than I necessarily enjoy immersing myself in different non-canonical variants.

And there's a lot of variants. You have two similar but also very different canon-sources (books and tv show) and within those two sources very different takes on the couple. For as many "Jon pines for higborn Sansa" approaches you get an equal amount of "Sansa jealously pines for her brother's oblivious best friend" modern au's. What we enjoy in recreational reading is extremely personal and subjective.

That said, for fear of disappointing you, I don't particular enjoy the "Sansa falls first" scenarios because what I like about the couple especially is the idea of Sansa finally being appreciated for who she is. Canon offers us plenty of examples of Sansa extending affection and crushes on other characters. They are never truly reciprocated, and they join in on a theme of Sansa going unappreciated for her qualities by the world around her. She is disregarded, mocked, criticized, belittled, humiliated. So much so that a large part of the fandom considers this to be justified and educational for her. She has given up on being loved for herself, but she will not sacrifice her values as a consequence. So someone falling in love with her is to me a very compelling and cathartic validation of Sansa as a person. Of course, this only works if the person falling for Sansa is actually attractive to her and embodies the things we know she has been looking for all this time. But specifically the idea that Sansa falls first fails my personal taste because it contains a sense of lacking reciprocation that we've already seen multiple times in her story. She's been not-loved-in-return a lot already.

I do enjoy the concept of Jon being loved by Sansa, too, because it validated aspects of him he usually keeps close to his chest. Things that touch on his specific mixed sense of identity as a nobly-raised bastard. He has soft sensibilities, a romantic disposition, pedestrian dreams of family and home, and highly idealistic and emotional ideals surrounding leadership that center on duty and honor. But he is generally not appreciated for those specific things. He is appreciated for his brains and his abilities, his bravery, his pragmatism, his loyalty to his friends and duties - but not for the boy who wants to be Lord of Winterfell with a lady wife and babies, who wants to be a hero from the songs, Florian the Fool, Ryam Redwyne. It's a lovely and very specific recognition of a very private part of Jon, to be loved for his secret soft self.

But it's not my primary focus because unlike Sansa, Jon still receives a lot of validation and love in the source material. It's just not the specific kind he wants. So that makes it comparatively less compelling to me.

That doesn't mean that Sansa primarily falling in love with Jon isn't an equally valid thing to enjoy! It's just that I can't make you any good recommendations on this subject specifically because it's not my specific favorite flavor of jonsa.

I wish you good luck though!

[sugarishapple]

Possession

(Day 6 of Feedist Kinktober)

A not so small story idea I went to write this past week, but I had to sit down and edit it (as English is not my first language: this was fully written as such), so this is a bit... outdated, lol. But, it's a fun little magical and witchy scenario that gives some background for both Marshall and Gail. How canon is it is up my guess right now since I'm still thinking about the possibilities of going through this (or a similar) route for them.

Word Count: almost 2800?

There used to be a rumor about Gail that was spread during high school.

People usually muttered that she was a witch.

Marshall didn't believe it back then. It was one of the most ridiculous statements he has ever heard. He would understand that Gail was a weird and "creepy" girl who believed in the supernatural, and people didn't like her that much (the girls usually, and derogatorily, called her “Ghoul”)... but he never bought that all of her "creepiness" was because she was a witch (or anything else related to it). Gail, however, instead of being insulted about the rumor, always decided to play it with humor. Mostly because, after all, it turns out there was a partial truth about it. "My family indeed has some witch lineage mixed in. My grandmother actually taught me some stuff here and there when I was younger.” This is what Gail told Marshall around the time they started dating,

Marshall was a little surprised about it, but as deeper their relationship went by, he started to see the signs. That would explain why his girlfriend was so persistent and stubborn about the supernatural, about magic, about ghosts. Even if he didn’t believe it at first, spending more time with her showed him how passionate she was about it.

And maybe because he was used to it, or maybe because it was more of a hobby to her as an adult, he didn’t think much about it. That is, of course, until...

It was one of those days where Marshall was too deep into his feedism fantasies. And the thought of Gail being a witch (to a degree?) was something that suddenly appeared on his mind. It wasn't about magical potions or spells... he was thinking much more bigger than that. He was thinking about the possibility of getting possessed… as a way to get more into his own fantasies of getting fatter. "Getting possessed, huh?" Gail questioned him, with curiosity, while eating dinner. "It was just a thought," he said, laughing it off, as a joke, "it's impossible." "Did you think it is impossible, Marshall?" She interrupted. "I can attempt summoning something perfect for you, you know...?" "You... you are pulling my leg for all those times I teased you in the past, aren't you?" "Hah. I’m not joking about this, honey. It's a wonderful idea, actually... as expected of my Marshmallow~" She held his hand, caressing it and smiling. "I have been thinking a lot about a way to expand that waist of yours, and this is perfect.”

"Is it?" Still doubtful, he continued eating. "Hmmm." Gail started thinking. "I may need to take a look to my grandma’s old books. I have a slight idea of which creature we can use... who, even..." Marshall was astounded at how serious she looked at that moment, especially for something was a whim. All he remembered from the past at that moment was about a stupid high school rumor that turned out to be true because here she was, passionate about the potential outcomes of using her magic skills. For him. For her.

---

"Ah. Yes. This is the one," Gail held one of her magic books, right on the page she was looking for, "a demon that rejects inhibitions of the gluttony kind." She snickered. "Yeah… and it looks like I have every ingredient to invoke them, even."

Marshall gulped as soon as she notified him about it. He didn't expect it to be pretty soon. But, deep inside him, he was excited for it. The sooner, the better. 

"You just have to give me a heads up to do it," his partner told him, "of course, I need to prepare a big feast for that, as well. Your favorites, everything you want..."

"How about... tomorrow?"

"You want this to happen... tomorrow?" This definitely caught her by surprise. “Are you sure?”

"Well, I feel like you are excited as I am, Gail." He smiled her back.. "Why waste time, right?"

Gail bit her lips. She knew Marshall was someone who preferred to do things in the more efficient way possible, without beating around the bush. She, however, still had some doubts, because she might be biting more than she could chew. A demon like that wasn't that easy to invoke although she had everything she needed at hand. But given that Marshall was on the same tracks as her, that was pushing her forward to do as much as he wanted.

"Okay, let's do it tomorrow. It is going to be a long day until then... I cannot wait to put my hands on that soft belly as it expands itself so quickly while you are under the influence of a demon..." "That's very specific, you know?” He chuckled. “But… I would be lying if I didn’t want to know how all of that may feel at the end. How little of me would get conscious while doing all of that under a demon possessing me? That kind of stuff.”

“Wow, who would believe you were this… kinky, huh?” Gail caressed his slightly round face before putting a kiss onto his lips.

“Heh. I wonder…”

---

It was a long day, indeed. Full of waiting and full of expectations. The demon summoning method had two parts, one of it was preparing a beverage as an offering, a “portal” of sorts which establishes the connection between the demon and their host, and the other step was a spell.

A foot note specified, however, that “there might be consequences. One of the hardest demons to persuade and please. Proceed with caution and risks.”

“Consequences?” Gail read the foot note again, and made her get cold feet. Of course, she knew, there would be risks about summoning demons like this one. Sure… but… shouldn’t they be able to risk it? She had to be prepared for whatever would be inf front of them, she had to make a good impression on the demon.

Reuniting the beverage’s ingredients and preparing it was a task that was quite easy. It was similar to brewing tea. The result had a bitter and spicy scent to it, quite flowery as well.

The table was set in a way it was like a great banquet, a big offering, full of greasy and heavy food dishes. It only lacked the two main guests for this feast.

Marshall was as doubtful as his beloved and beautiful partner. He was so worked up for the excitement it meant to fulfill some of his fantasies, but he wasn’t prepared for the potential long-term effects of a possession. Or even if he would come out of it without scars. What if they couldn’t get the demon satisfied? His mind was full of many questions.

On his side, Marshall researched a little about the aforementioned demon. And although the specifics weren’t too clear, he knew the demon wouldn’t be easy to get along with. What did mean “satisfaction” to a demon of gluttony?

“Marshall. I want you to trust in myself and this whole process,” Gail assured him as he was sitting down in the table, “if anything else happens. I will be cautious and try to cut the connection, immediately.”

He nodded and took a look at the decadent foods in front of him. His favorite dishes, fast food, and sweets. It was the first time that Gail prepared a feast like that for him. He always fantasied it, but Gail was never that adventurous.

“Overwhelmed?” She asked him, relaxing his shoulder muscles, to cut the tension.

“Slightly.” He adjusted his glasses. “It’s too much.”

“Too much, but still perfect for you.” She bent her head down to kiss his head, before reaching the tall glass of the tea-like beverage. “You have to drink this fully. Once it sets down, I will recite the spell.”

Marshall followed her instructions. He grabbed the glass, and gulped the whole beverage down. He tasted the bitterness coming from the spices. It wasn’t that any different from the teas Gail has brewed before. But there was a certain heaviness coming from it. He couldn’t explain how maybe it was because he was nervous, or perhaps he wasn’t prepared for what was coming to him. Licking the few drops that were on his lips, he posed his hands over his tum.

“How was it?” Gail asked.

“Bitter. Fulfilling. Was it necessary to be served on a glass?”

“The recipe said it had to be done that way. Now, relax, honey,” she squeezed his shoulder, “you and I know this isn’t the end yet…”

She bent down, and started whispering into his ear an old enchantment, full of words he couldn’t figure out. There were times where she swore she could curse him… but now? That’s how it felt? He was slowly feeling enticed by them. He couldn’t move and, little by little, it felt like he was losing conscience…

“Marshall…?” Gail asked as she was taking note of the state of her partner.

He grunted. He opened his eyes and started to evaluate everything… from the situation of his surroundings to the feast he had in front of him. He started to salivate. He smugly smiled and chuckled.

“Well, well, well. Is this all for me…?” He pronounced. “Splendid. I was getting too hungry…”

Gail felt it. It worked. Marshall wasn’t conscious in his own body, anymore. It was that demon.

Without any care, he reached the plates. The demon inside Marshall felt famished. He was so hungry, he wanted to stuff his face with greedy handfuls of all of the decadent food in front of him. In a similar fashion, the plates that were finished were easily discarded, while Gail was left to witness the scene.

On one hand, this what Marshall always fantasied to do, and it was something they agreed to do, sure. This was a face of him that Gail wanted to presence, and she wished that her Marshmallow would show her more frequent, the one where he was dominated by a ravenous hunger while wolfing down everything without restraints. Slightly slobby, even. But Marshall was still quite shy with all of this, especially in front of her. This was an eager Marshall that she usually wished for, including some of his gestures, from everything as grabbing his belly as a way to measure how full he was, to slapping it as a belch came out from his chest, all while his shirt was riding up as his stomach was expanding. All with a greedy smile where he communicated he wanted more.

Understandably, it was an astounding scene that made her aroused as more and more as it progressed… but it made her understand one thing: as much as it looked like Marshall was being a gluttonous pig… it wasn’t him. It wasn’t her beloved Marshall.

“You are the witch that summoned me, aren’t you?” The demon talked to her, using the voice of her Marshmallow. His breath was heavy and burpy. “I underestimated the ones of your kind. You have lots of guts to bring me here. You may know that I’m not easy to please… but there’s something about this human host that makes me… needed. Is that the word? Lucky him. I share his desires, and, perhaps, yours too.”

He let out a wet belch, which made Gail’s face to turn red. He eventually let his hand reach to hers.

“I can sense your desires, too. You sure are a watcher. An admirer. An enabler… you surely want him to get big, as much as he does.”

Gail held his hand, and followed his guidance, putting it against his belly. It was gurgling and digesting.

“Well... take a look at that. You seem to love the idea of his waist getting wider, don’t you?” He made her to slid down the elastic waistband of his pants, revealing his big and round stuffed belly, covered by the red marks that were left by his clothes. “Amazing what he can do with my help, right?”

She nodded, agreeing.

“Just imagine it. Always a little hungry. Always wanting to satisfy it… but never that full. This is just part of the result.”

Enticed by the way the demon talked to her, she started to give his tum some rubs, enjoying the pleasant feeling of his soft yet hard belly.

He started to moan as he felt her hands’ movements all over his torso.

“Ga… Gail…” He grunted, this being more Marshall than the demon himself. It was like he would easily recognize the hands of his beloved partner, even in such state.

She quickly took notice about that.

“Marsh… oh, Marshall. You are doing great, honey…” She told him. “You are feeling so… so good…”

He nodded.

“You know… your hands have always been… amazing… I love them… I love you so much...” He responded, before getting interrupted by the demon, “...Huh. I see why this host loves it so much… it makes me want to keep going, so your hands wouldn’t stop doing this...”

“...I want him back.” Gail pronounced, decisive, as soon as she stopped rubbing him. “Once you finish this feast… I want my Marshall back.”

There was a look in Gail’s eyes that the demon was trying to decipher. It was an unknown feeling for him. But he was, enchanted to say the least. Was it loyalty? Was it what they called “love”?

He started cackling. “Hahah, oh, witch… you and your beloved amuse me a lot. You talk as if I’m going to stay forever in this host’s body.” He inspected his hands, and looked back at her. “But, I have changed my mind. I will make a little deal with you. Let’s say I will be your ‘little enabler’, wouldn’t it be better for you and me?”

“An… enabler?”

“Let’s put it this way.” The demon gestured as he was feeling Marshall’s body in a more intimate manner. “I will let him succumb to his hunger and gluttony desires. I will make his metabolism much more slower, as well. Making him fatter faster would be a good thing for you, right~? All of this feast is going to make wonders on him, that’s for sure”.

Gail was perplexed. “There was a foot note in my grandmother’s book, are these the consequences it was referring to?”

“The consequences…? Oh, dear. Hahah!” The demon laughed. “Oh, no, no. Of course there are consequences... But not for you two. This is a reward, a present from me. I will leave part of my essence in him”.

“Hmmm.” She went thinking. “How do I know you aren’t lying?”

“You are more of a skeptic than him, looks like. But, I will tell you something useful for the future. Those magic books? They are not a joke.” He replied. “I can feel the power of your ancestors through you. And, besides… why would I trick you? This feast? It was wonderful.” He grabbed a handful of pecan pie, before stuffing it into his (Marshall’s) mouth. “No one has gone this far in less of a whole day. I like you both, witch.” He talked with his mouth full, before gulping it all down.

---

Marshall grunted. He was not even sure how long he has been sleeping. All he knew was that he was feeling slightly full… and that there was a slight cold breeze over his exposed tum.

“How long has it… been?” He reached his hand up to his gut, noticing it a little more flabbier than before. “Huh, that’s definitely new.”

“Hey, Marshmallow. Good morning~” Gail gave him a kiss. “How did you sleep?”

“Like a rock. I don’t remember much after the demon possessed my body. But, I suppose it worked.” He jiggled his softer belly.

“Of course it worked. He even left us a little gift”.

“You look pretty nonchalant for whatever it has to be as a gift. Wasn’t the demon supposed to be hard to please?”

“Apparently,” she responded, “we were all good. He seemed to like us both. And he left us something to enjoy later. This,” she pointed his softer belly, “is just part of it.”

“Uhuh,” he nodded as he passed his hand all over his gelatinous belly, inspecting it. “Well, I suppose this fat definitely wouldn’t be made in less of a day under very normal consequences.”

“How do you feel about it?” She asked.

“Well, it doesn’t feel too bad…” Marshall gave it some rubs, before looking at her again. “But I will appreciate it even more if you give me a hand, you know…?” He gave her some bedroom eyes, a message she understood quite well.

Gail smiled. “Of course. I want to help you out with that…”

[nalyra-dreaming]

WAIT OMG! we never actually hear show louis tell lestat that he loves him?? i know i probably sound stupid but i don’t think that’s something i’ve ever truly picked up on until now. i was rewatching some loustat scenes and got extra sad over lestat constantly feeling like he’s rejected and not loved, then it dawned on me that i don’t think louis said it or even showed it?? do you think that type of declaration will happen in future seasons?

this isn’t louis hate btw, i love them both so much

I love them both, too, and yes, ultimately I think we will get it^^.

…. okay this is a bit of a wasp‘s nest, so... fair warning^^.

Quite a while ago the IWTV writer's room (yes they are, or at least were active on Twitter) answered some questions.

One of them was this:

This... produced quite the backlash and made some huge waves around the fandom.

The thing is, Louis withholding and using that withholding (something the writers called "weaponization of language" here is canon behavior in the books, and something Louis in later books apologizes for.

Of course it is all a bit more difficult than the simplified (tweet)answer here. There is for example the added complexity of Louis losing Paul right after saying these words (something that, given this canon behavior does soften (for lack of a better word) said behavior, and as such was very much done on purpose, imho).

In the clip from the "Murder Mansion" we have already seen Armand commenting on the "withholding" as well, so I fully expect the show (aka the writers here) to keep this canon characterization, as they are obviously building on it.

It is something I also touched on the "intimacy post" a while back. Because for Louis and Lestat, in their good times, when they had sex regularly and bit each other during sex... Louis' inability to say the words probably meant next to nothing. Lestat would have been able to read it in the blood.

Only later, when the eating disorder set that fatal downwards spiral off (again, it bears repeating, this is not assigning blame, but it is an important aspect that started with the choice to not eat human anymore) the lack of the said words started to actually weigh on them.

So yes, eventually, the lack of the words was probably very much grating.

And for Louis it might have actually made it impossible to speak them.

Because, from experience^^, when you mean something it can be very, very hard to say that thing, especially if you know you maybe should have said the words earlier, but didn't - for valid reasons - but now... now they just seem unable to pass your tongue.

I think that is something that happened to Louis there. And Lestat probably didn't really feel rejected at first, but more frustrated, then estranged somewhat, mixed with concern, and then anger, and then and then and then... because he loves Louis.

And Louis loves Lestat.

Very much. Too much, maybe. Too much, maybe, for these words.

(Which is also why he and Lestat were both able to so easily say them during murder night, because then... then they were not meant.)

In the books he eventually does put it into words.

… I love you with my whole soul, and I will always love you, [..] you are my life. I have hated you for that and love you now so much that you’ve been my instructor in loving.

...this is from Blood Communion. Since we already know they are taking from that book.... :)

[mayweneverdie]

Could you pretty please do some headcanons for charles?

Yes!!

CHARLES SMITH HC?!?!

Cw: no beta read

Notes: mix of canon time and modern, a lot of modern tho

—

Enjoys reading, occasionally tries to draw a little illustration to show his thoughts on the passage and gets embarrassed if they don’t turn out

Favorite season is fall, likes to layer up a bit more and not overheat

In modern era i firmly believe he drives a pontiac aztec

Can’t tell me otherwise idc

Keeps so much stuff in his car too

His book bag, clothes, probably a laptop that died a while back and he keeps forgetting to charge it

Buddies with the owner of a local hardware/hunting store

I can def see him pining a bit for Arthur near the end

But i think bc of the Mary Linton situation he didn’t say anything so he didn’t complicate things

Not a Charles hc but Arthur is bi, argue with your mommy

Back to Charles hc, i also think he’s bi

Argue with your mommy

Smells like campfire with a hint of mint

Ok so also i could see him driving a kia soul

He’s meant for grandma cars

Can play the piano man harmonica bit really well

An avid sit-in-a-public-park-and-ponder kinda guy

I can’t remember for the life of me who said it (probably tempting-andromeda) but i like to think he was a park ranger or in a career similar like fire watch

Posted a few tiktoks about the parks and general safety/tips when visiting and garnered a bit of a following

Doesn’t play a lot of video games but when he does it’s mostly story/rpg or simulator games

Goat sim/farm sim is in his favorites

Maybe skyrim

First pet was a dog from the shelter, second was a tiny grey cat

He’s just a chill guy trying to keep to himself!!! Someone get him a lemonade and a hammock!!

—

Holy shit i love charles smith

I’m finally back in posting!!

[grilledcheese-savage]

Unironically loved The Acolyte. Got some genuine questions on why so many Star Wars fans hate it though. As someone who knows a DEEP amount of lore from both the movies and the non canon books, I feel like I’m inclined to speak on this.

Here’s some questions to ask yourself

1. Do you hate the acting and the “plot holes” or do you just hate women and gay people?

2. Does it actually break the Star Wars lore? Or does it just add more to the general universe?

3. Have you ACTUALLY watched the show up to now? Or did you just assume it was going to suck as soon as you saw Disney made new Star Wars content?

Listen, if you hate that Disney keeps throwing away shows for money, I AGREE. I hate that they seem to put 3% of effort into my favorite universe. But some of the discourse I am hearing on this show is getting eerily close to a hate crime.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, and you can tell me a definitive answer on the first three, I’d love a could discussion on this show. Free from preemptive opinions.

Spoilers now

Here’s what I liked about this show:

- I liked that they showed someone else created by midichlorians. They insinuated in the prequels that it was how Anakin was born and some people are saying that makes him not special anymore. I disagree with this because palpatine was not the first sith, if you listen to the darth plagueis story, he says “He could even use the force to influence the midichlorians to create life.” They never said he was the only person. They just said “ITS A SITH LEGEND”. Don’t you think a cult of sith lesbians would know the story of darth plagueis the wise? I mean yeah, it makes for some grey area in terms of timeline but we have 300 year old Jedi masters and he’s a sith that gets a clone in the sequels it’s not that impossible.

- I love the idea of twins when it comes to Star Wars. One dark one light.

- The costumes!!! The costumes tell a story. For one, I actually love that they aren’t weathered because this was a time of peace for the Jedi, most Jedi wouldn’t have as much time in the field to weather their clothes, so they’re very bright and colorful.

- The settings were so beautiful, and gave me MAJORRR dark fantasy vibes. Especially the space suit, it was giving a different vibe for Star Wars yet still get very George Lucas to me.

- And of course, I have to talk about the fight scenes. They are so fast it really feels like these people know what they’re doing. You can understand their train of thought in every move. It’s fun to watch.

- The lightsabers. I love seeing more yellow lightsabers and more variety. I love seeing the lightsaber whip, I need more of it tho.

- I loved Jecki and Sol, they were pretty fun and original characters. I like how morally grey Sol is, and jecki is my fave type of character… rip.

Here’s what I didn’t like:

- why did that one chick have a purple lightsaber? I was fine with it at first but now it kinda messes with how I saw purple lightsabers. I know the colors don’t technically have a meaning, or at least a set one. Especially since Samuel Jackson just wanted a purple one. But I always saw it as someone who was morally grey and walked the line between the dark in the light. Someone who has a code, but will kill for their own obligations. Which would actually work for this character… it’s the fact that the color is supposed to be rare. I always thought Mace was the first and one of the only to have a purple lightsaber. I’m not against there being multiple purple lightsabers, I just wish they explained it a bit more. Idk. This one’s just me.

- The acting isn’t necessarily bad… it just isn’t great either? Idk, I got mixed feelings. Because there are some episodes where I think “Amandla’s doing pretty good this episode playing two people.” And then I see another scene and think “Damn… I wish they chose some different actors because this is just clunky.” ESPECIALLY the children. I thought there acting was rough, but I’m pretty lenient when it comes to that because they’re kids and they’ll grow with age. Plus, it’s hard to find twins who look like amandla who can act.

-the dialogue is not great a lot of the time. But I’m a Star Wars fan, so I know for a fact that’s never been just “The Acolyte”’s problem. I think we were spoiled Andor.

- I was kinda nervous about the addition of sith witches, but that’s again, just a personal opinion. It’s not that I’m against just sith witches, I just had to get used to the idea of people other than the Jedi, understanding the force but using it differently. Which, wasn’t just an acolyte problem for me. It was a Dave Filoni adding witches to sci fi problem. It’s just, when I think “witches” I don’t think “Star wars”. Because the force isn’t really magic. But I’ve gotten more used to it the more they developed all the different tribes, and especially after watching rebels and clone wars a while back. I’m actually pretty okay with it now, it just took some getting used to, which the live action only haven’t had to deal with until Ahsoka the series, which was less of a problem because they were focused on Hayden coming back. At least in my opinion that’s how I saw it.

- I didn’t like that jecki used ahsoka moves, despite it being the past, it being the first time they duel blade, and the fact that THEY DIE so they can’t even teach these moves to people who then show ahsoka etc. It leads to my next problem,

- it kinda seemed like they were too focused on references. Like they wanted to prove themselves, like “Hey, this isn’t breaking canon, see, I know a ton about Star Wars lore!” It felt like hand-holding. It was cute the first couple times, but it wasn’t spread out enough.

- Yoda is pretty old, and this show is only 100 years in the past, right? So where is he? In fact, where are most of the Jedi masters. I’m sure a lot of them would be babies, but isn’t Shaak ti like, 240? Huh??? Where is everyone? This is probably why I was so confused in the first episode, thinking it was like, 2000 years in the past.

- and lastly, they run into the problem many prequels run into, which is, not knowing what the past of a futuristic world would look like. It’s hard to come up with, old looking lightsabers when lightsabers are inherently futuristic. Etc.

Other than that, I didn’t actually notice it breaking any canon. It should be obvious to most viewers that it’s going to end with everyone who saw the Sith, dying with his secret. That would fix the “plot hole” that they are apparently making.

Also the number one complaint I’ve been seeing is that they have a black main character, who’s a women and they automatically assume that Disney is being woke. They haven’t done anything remotely woke about this. I’ve also seen people complain that two women had a child.

They’re Sith, wouldn’t that be the OPPOSITE of being woke??? Also this is the future, why do you think that a galaxy of aliens with all kinds of genders would be homophobic? That makes less sense than them moving a birthday around. Also please remember clones exist and Anakin’s mother was a Virgin Mary.

😭💀💀💀 Some of the haters are NOT Star Wars fans and get all of their points from Star Wars theory.

[autistook]

DAISIES - pt 2

Merry Brandybuck x fem!hobbit!reader/soft oc

Previous chapter

Words: 3.1k

Summary: Merry drags you and Pippin on an adventure as an apology for the panic attack their dare caused you days before. Halfway there, Pippin decides to turn back, leaving you and Merry alone. After smoking some pipe-weed, the conversation turns a little bit deeper, when you discuss things you have never talked about before, and getting more close to each other.

I want to say something before you start reading the second chapter of this fanfic. I hope you can still feel like you're a part of the story, even thought it is a soft oc. I prefer giving characters some qualities (reader's height, fears and personality traits for example) and backstories when writing, and personally I prefer when I can escape to a story, where I am a little bit different from my usual self.

I also want to point out that this story obviously has and will have some differences to canon events, and I will be mixing up some things from the books and movies, and other stuff from my own head.

That being said, I hope you enjoy this next part of 'daisies'!

----------------------

For the few days following the incident at the river, you mostly stayed in your own bedroom, every now and then getting something to eat from the kitchen. Frodo showed some concern, but knowing your need for space, he decided to let it slide. You were still shaken up by the panic attack, trying to avoid anything that could trigger one again.

Pippin and Merry did not take long to realize that you had been distancing yourself at home for more than a day. Normally you would already be at least on a walk, where one of them would run into you. They decided to visit Bag End to drag you out of the bed by force.

"No! You're not allowed to stay indoors any longer!" Pippin exclaimed and started to pull you out of bed. Merry was biting his nails. You groaned and made your body limp, so it would be harder to pull you away from under the comfort of your blanket. "You have been indoors for over a day already, and we all know how easily you distance yourself. Get up, Baggins!"

"We promised you some pipe-weed, didn't we?" Merry says, his arms crossed, looking at you. His eyes revealed just how guilty he was feeling about pushing your boundaries at the river. Pippin tended to feel more guilty, but never showed it to anyone but Merry.

"Is there any way you would just let me have some space for one more day?" you asked, already knowing their answer. Merry shook his head and bluntly declined your request. Finally, the two managed to pull you out of bed, and you rushed them out of your bedroom for some privacy. 

You went through your closet for quite some time, trying to decide between a few different dresses, your fingers gently rubbing the different kinds of fabrics to see if any of them would make you feel slightly more comfortable in your skin. You settled on a sage green dress, made of a material so soft and light that you could barely feel it on. You slipped the dress on, and unlike usual, decided to skip a corset, just to make sure no piece of clothing made you feel any more uncomfortable.

You made your way down the hall, where Merry and Pippin had made themselves at home and were chatting up with your brother, laughing about some private joke of their own. You passed the small mirror that was hanging on the wall in the hallway, glancing at it and smiling to yourself. You thought about the small gesture of comfort Merry had provided you by putting your favorite flower sneakily behind your ear. 

You entered the kitchen, fidgeting with the hem of your dress, nervous about leaving the house, while knowing it was the best decision for you. 

"Glad to see you up on your feet again!" Frodo said cheerfully, his smile gentle and wide. Merry put his arm around you, squeezing you firmly.

"We couldn't let her stay in any longer. Who knows how long she would've stayed indoors!" Merry said. "It was the pipe-weed that finally got her out of the bed. I fear our friend has an addiction," he continued teasingly. You gave Merry a soft, playful smack on his shoulder, making him chuckle. 

"We actually got something better for you, as an apology," Pippin said and handed you a small leather pouch. "It's Old Toby. We know you prefer it."

Smiling, you accepted the apology, immediately inhaling some of the sweet smell of the leaves through the leather. Frodo shook his head at this sight, taking a sip of his tea.

"So, do you want to smoke it now?" Merry said, hoping you would share some of it with him and Pippin. You gave him a nod, trying not to act too enthusiastic about getting to taste some of the sweetness of the pipe-weed soon. You then saw Merry's eyes shift slightly to the left from your eyes. One corner of his mouth curled up a little, making you turn around to see what he was grinning at. There seemed to be nothing amusing behind you, so you figured he had to be happy about your agreement to go have a smoke.

It was a cold day in the Shire. You were wrapped up in your long coat, arms crossed, slightly shivering. Merry seemed to be in his element, enjoying the cold spring breeze. Pippin on the other hand, was shaking and whimpering, not wearing enough layers. You were walking on the damp ground, wet grass getting between your toes. Merry was leading the way to a place, that in his words, was 'something very special indeed.'

"How much further?" you asked, wrapping your coat more firmly around your figure. Pippin lifted his head up, lips quivering as he looked at his best friend, hoping for an answer that would be no less than ten minutes.

"An hour," Merry said calmly, looking over his shoulder at the two of you. Pippin stopped in his tracks, shaking his head. 

"No, I will not," Pippin said determined, his voice trembling from the cold. He turned around and lifted his hand up to wave goodbye, without even looking back. "Too far. No. I need to get something warm around me. Maybe ten thousand blankets. Enjoy your trip to whatever he thinks this suffering is worth!" Pippin cried, and as he walked he kept muttering to himself, long after he was no longer in the hearing distance.

"Well, more Old Toby for us," you smirked, slightly shaking from the wind. Merry smiled softly at your comment, turning his face back forward to where you two were walking. "I do feel cold though, Merry."

"Trust me, it's going to be worth it," Merry reassured you, giving you a confident look. Your eyes narrowed slightly, trying to decide whether to believe him or not. Merry took notice of your analyzing look. "I am not lying, and you're going to thank me when we arrive there, I assure you."

It took you and Merry less than an hour of walking, when he suddenly came to a halt. There was a cornfield opening in front of you. The stalks of them were a faint green, their length tall, forcing you to tilt your head all the way back if you wanted to see their highest points. Their growth was dense, making it seem like a too narrow path to pass. You lifted your eyebrow at Merry, your arms crossed as you were trying to wrap the thick coat tighter around you. Your coat covered you almost all the way to your ankles, as you were shorter than an average hobbit.

"Merry, why are we standing in front of a cornfield?" you asked. Merry looked at you, amused at your puzzled expression. His answer was a simple nod towards the cornfield. He started making his way through the first rows of the green stalks, his right side first and arms spread wide. With a loud exhale, you followed him. 

It was so densely grown, you could not move without at least one cornstalk touching your clothes, or messing up your hair. Every now and then Merry would tell you to duck, as there were some badly grown stalks bending downward. You followed his path for five minutes without saying anything out loud. Then Merry stopped walking, and you followed his example, stopping immediately. 

"Just a few rows forward," he said, smiling confidently, clearly trying to act all mysterious. He took one step, before you grabbed his shoulder to stop him from going any further.

"Would you just please explain to me why we are in the middle of a cornfield?" you asked, feeling slightly frustrated from the cold, your feet irritated by the dirt you were standing on. 

"Look, just trust me," Merry said and gestured to you to walk first. "M'lady," he snickered in a teasing tone. You decided to oblige, making your way through the last few thick rows of corn.

The bright daylight hit your face the second you had gone through where Merry guided you, making you squint your eyes. Your eyes had gotten used to the dimness of the field and the sudden exposure startled you. When you got used to the sudden flash of light, you could see that you were standing in a small opening. There was a large rock in the middle. It was rough and firm on the ground, and it was even taller than the corns were at their highest. The grey sky was solid behind it, as you gazed up, trying so hard to see the top of the large stone.

"Now we climb," Merry said as he appeared from behind you. He went up to the rock, placing his grassy feet on some of the rough edges of it. His hands gripped confidently on the solid stone under him, as he turned his gaze to you, questioning why you were not following him yet. "Well, come on!" he rushed. 

"I don't think I can climb, Merry," you responded, still shivering under your coat. "My hands are so cold. I can't feel a thing."

Merry hopped back down on the ground, walking towards you. He took your freezing, pale and delicate hands in his. He placed them firmly between the palms of his hands, rubbing them to provide some warmth. He lifted them to the same level as his face, placing his lips close to your skin, breathing some warm air from his lungs on your hands. Soon the feeling started to return to your hands, but Merry kept going, wanting to make sure they would not freeze back up.

"Is that better, my lady?" Merry said teasingly, still some tenderness in his tone. 

You chuckled softly, giving him a thankful smile. "Yes, thank you."

"Now, are you ready to climb?" he asked, already walking towards the rock. 

You followed his every step, trusting he knew his way up there better than you ever could. You truly did not want to slip down, even though a part of you was even suspicious it might have been a part of a long term prank that Merry had planned. The rock was cold beneath the bottom of your feet, and the air was more chilly the higher you got. 

It was a fast climb, and Merry soon offered his hand to pull you up. You took his hand, and he pulled you up with a firm grip. And the second you got to the top of the rock, you realized why Merry had wanted to come to this spot for a smoke.

The field opened up all around you, seeming like there were endless rows of beautiful greenery growing. The wind was cold, but beautifully it was softly blowing and making the corn, which was in its early stage of growth, dance like waves. It made you forget all about the temperature. The sky was grey, yet despite the seemingly melancholy weather, it looked beautiful. The contrast between the earth and the sky looked stunning from up there, providing a calming atmosphere.

"I've never told anyone about this place," Merry said, taking his wooden pipe from his pocket, preparing to smoke some Old Toby. "Except Frodo. I think he comes down here to read sometimes, and so do I. I believed it was time to show this to Pippin and you. Well, mostly you."

"What do you mean mostly me?" you asked, handing him the small pouch of pipe-weed. Merry filled the bowl of the pipe, pressing the leaf down gently. He lit it up, inhaling the first round of Old Toby.

"I know you like to have some time to yourself," he answered sincerely, taking another puff. He looked somewhere to the distance, admiring the surroundings. "I figured that after what happened at the river, I owed you a proper apology. I thought showing a place where you can cool down your overactive mind would do the trick."

"Well, apology accepted," you smiled, gently taking the pipe from his hands. You took a puff, the pipe lingering on your lips for a moment. It took almost no time at all for the calming effects of it to hit both of you. You passed the pipe to each other for some time in total silence. The wind was calming down, and the sky looked like it could rain soon.

"You seem troubled," you said, looking at Merry, who was deep in his thoughts. His eyes were fixated on the horizon, as he took a deep breath. He passed you the pipe, leaning backwards to lay down on his back, as the top of the rock was wide enough for a Hobbit to rest down almost comfortably. "Merry?"

"I broke it off with Estella," Merry muttered under his breath. He had been dating his friend's sister for several months now. This information was almost jaw dropping to you, but you tried to keep your composure and not pressure your friend too much.

"What happened?" you asked carefully and concerned, extinguishing the remaining pipe-weed. You put the pipe down and placed your palm on his shoulder, trying to make sure he knew that he was in a safe space with you. This was not an area of expertise for you when it came to Merry. The two of you talked about many things, but relationships or their difficulties, were not one of those things. Merry exhaled loudly.

"I don't know. Something about it did not feel right from the start, which I don't completely understand," he said, almost puzzled about his own decision. He placed his palms behind his head, gently resting on them. "If you wrote down her qualities next to mine, it would be perfect. Perfect, but only on paper. Whenever I held her close, or even kissed her... It just felt odd."

You felt compassion towards your best friend, still shocked that he was opening up about the troubles of his romantic life to you. You stayed quiet, still holding his shoulder gently. Merry did not seem to have anything more to say on the matter, but you had plenty of questions and could not keep totally silent.

"When did this happen?" you asked. It had to not have been more than a few days. He had not acted any way differently since the last time you saw him at the river.

"A month ago," Merry answered, your face showing all the possible signs of confusion at once. Nothing had seemed different, yet he was going through a massive change in his life.

"A month! How on earth did I miss that?" you cried, looking at him with pure shock. Merry shifted his eyes on you, a calm expression on his face.

"Well, we don't really talk about this stuff," he responded, softly chuckling at the whole reality of the situation. "Besides, I felt bad."

"I get it," you said. "Whenever a relationship ends, it's just always hard to-"

Merry interrupted you, lifting his other hand in the air. "That's not what I meant," he said, his body twisting a little from feeling uncomfortable. "I felt bad, because I didn't feel bad. She was crying, and all I could do was just stare at her. I felt so relieved. Seeing her cry made me feel like the worst being in all of Middle-Earth. I tried to comfort her, but she just ran off. We haven't said a word to each other since, nor has Fatty talked to me either."

You stared at Merry in confusion. You thought he had been happy, and you had no clue he had stirred the pot in his personal life so roughly. You gave him an understanding smile.

"Look, you tried to comfort her. That's all I'm saying," you responded, trying to cheer Merry up. "It did not feel right and you did the correct thing by ending it, before it escalated."

"I just wish I didn't make her feel so heartbroken, that his brother decided to not talk to me," Merry said quietly. "Fatty and I have always been friends. So have Estella and I. I might have ruined good friendships by trying to force something, when it wasn't there."

"Hey," you said, firmly grabbing his shoulder and giving him a supportive shake. "You did not ruin anything. Yes, sure, she might be mad at you for a while, but I'm positive she will eventually get over it. Both of them will. He's just very protective over his younger sister. You didn't force anything. You gave it a try, and it wasn't a match."

"The thing is," Merry said, sitting up, a slightly sad expression on his face, his eyes glued to his feet. "So far all of my relationships have been like this. At this point, I fear something is wrong with me!"

You shuffled closer, placing your arm around him. He leaned his head on top of yours, as you always had done when providing comfort to each other. 

"Nothing is wrong with you, Merry. You just haven't met the right girl yet," you said, squeezing your arm around him tightly. Merry sighed, appearing to not believe a word from your mouth, as he dwelled deep in his guilt. "I mean it. Someone will come along. You'll be at the Green Dragon, and your eyes meet, and you'll know."

"It's just weird, that's all," Merry sighed. "I've had plenty of crushes, all around Buckland too, but when it came to actually something happening, it came to a halt from my side. There's always this empty feeling. It feels like it's wrong, and I can't quite explain it."

Merry's words made you quiet. As you thought of what he said, you related to it more than you had before realized. Most of the Hobbits you had dated were perfect on paper, but when it came down to actually feeling something real with them - it was never there. 

"I get it," you finally said after some time, Merry snickering at your response. "No, I mean it, Merry. I hadn't really thought about it like that before, but I think I was miserable because of that exact reason in my previous relationships. Even the latest relationship ended with her crying, and me feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders."

Merry looked at you, eyes widening with surprisement.

"My dear friend, you have just made me feel so much better," he smiled, hugging you tightly. His arms around you were always a source of comfort, and in that moment you felt like you really needed it as well. You wrapped your other arm around him too, squeezing him tightly. You were enjoying the calming effect of the hug, as always. His face was nuzzled comfortably in your neck, his smile pressing against your skin.

"I think you are sometimes too hard on yourself," you said to him as you pulled away from the hug. "There are plenty of Hobbits out there for you. You just have to find the right one."

"I am not as sure about it as I used to be, but I am definitely feeling more confident now!" he stated, voice full of sudden happiness. "Maybe it's the pipe-weed, maybe it's you, or maybe it's both."

You giggled at his joke, realizing then just how calm the smoking had made both of you. Talking about all this stuff with your best friend felt new, refreshing and like it should have happened a long time ago. 

You both talked about your past relationships for over an hour, in tears of laughter at the disasters they had all been. Neither of you noticed the passage of time or the cold air anymore, until the effects of Old Toby started to wear off. After that you both agreed that it would be time for both of you to go back for some late luncheon.

On your way back, you were both slightly more quiet and in your thoughts, but relieved as some weight got lifted off your shoulders, knowing you weren't alone with your catastrophic relationship history. 

"Did you know that suits you?" Merry suddenly asked, as the two of you were making your way through the Shire, Bag End slowly approaching in the distance.

"What suits me?" you responded, confused. Merry chuckled and picked up a piece of dirt that had somehow clumped its way to your curls on your journey. He flicked it to the ground with his fingers, looking at you with a mischievous grin. "How long has that been there?" you asked him, slightly annoyed.

"Since we got through the cornfield for the first time," Merry said, smirking. "I noticed it, but I thought it would be funny to not say a thing."

"I had dirt in my hair for hours and you said nothing?" you shouted in a playfully furious tone. "Meriadoc Brandybuck!"

"Calm down!" he chuckled and lifted his hands up, as if to surrender. "I just figured you might have thought it suited your style better than a flower behind your ear, but I suppose I was wrong."

"What, the daisy you snuck in my hair when you were calming me down?" you said, eyes narrowing as you looked at him in his blue eyes, which were glowing with mischief and self-satisfaction.

"Ah, you noticed!" Merry laughed whole-heartedly. "I thought it might frame your face nicely. I did not know it would make you upset. My sincerest apologies," he continued with a sarcastic manner, making you giggle.

"What a nice thought," you smirked, scrunching your nose at him. You crossed your arms, now again shivering from the cold spring wind. "When I have a panic attack again, I'll make sure we are surrounded by daisies."

Merry laughed. "Well, let's hope you don't have another panic attack. What if I don't have a daisy on me? More than that, what if you are so smothered by anxiety that I have to whip up a flower crown for you in a matter of seconds?" he exclaimed dramatically, making your giggles louder. His gaze traveled around your face as he talked, clearly looking for signs that his jokes about the dramatic need of flowers at all times were still funny to you.

"In all seriousness," you started, clearing your throat and changing your tone from playful to a more serious one. "It was a nice gesture. I saw it in the mirror later and it cheered me up."

"I figured it might," Merry said, smiling softly, looking at the ground as you walked through the gate of Bag End. "I know it's your favorite flower."

You gave him a tender smile "I am amazed how well you actually know me," you said, entering through the green front door with him.

NEXT CHAPTER

[gffa]

Everyone has my absolute sympathy for trying to sort this stuff out, because there is so much source material to sort through and so much of a game of Telephone being played (ie, one person says something they believe to be true, the next person picks it up as hard fact and repeats it as such, then the next person also believes it but adding a bit of their own assumptions to what the previous posts said, on and on until we get to where we are now in fandom) that it can be hard to sort it all out. My best advice is to just start paying attention to sources on things--like when someone posts a quote from Wild Space, I automatically think, okay, that's in the Legends continuity, because I've looked up which books are in which continuity enough to know that.  Once you start doing that often enough, you start naturally understanding what comes from what continuity. Like, for a specific example--the idea of Jedi aging out at 13, when someone posts about that, where does that come from?  It's always sourced back to the Jedi Apprentice books, so, okay, that's a Legends thing!  Can you think of any time that came up in the movies or in TCW?  If not, then it's not Lucas' continuity and it never happened there.  In fact, The Clone Wars (Ahsoka's 14 in the movie and said to be on the young side for being a Padawan) + Disney (the Dooku: Jedi Lost audiodrama has a 16 year old Initiate who will have to wait another year before trying to be a Padawan again) both show that's not part of those continuities. That's pretty much it, I just constantly go after the source, figure out where something is from, and if I can't find a source, it's probably Legends or fanon.  (Which is no shade!  People should do what they want!  But I do like knowing what's fanon and what's not.) For the Jedi stuff, I can definitely help you out--I have a Jedi reference project, which is a collection of citations from Lucas continuity + Disney continuity (if it's quoted from Lucas, the movies, or TCW s1-s6, then it's Lucas continuity, everything else is Disney on that list) and Part II has an intro section that lists the different continuities as I see them. But I would say the primary differences between Lucas/Disney and Legends Jedi are: (None of these are value judgements!  I have read so many good fics that mix and match all of these things and I hope people continue to do what makes them happy, re: what goes in which continuity!) - Aging out does not seem to exist, the AgriCorps do not exist in the same fashion if they exist in Disney canon. - While Bant and Siri have been recanonized, Garen and Reeft do not exist in Disney canon, nor does Feemor or Komari.  Rael Averross is Dooku's other Padawan in Disney continuity, he does not exist in Legends. - Male Cereans are not endangered, Ki-Adi-Mundi is not married in Lucas or Disney canon. - The post-ROTJ world is massively, massively different, like Luke married Mara Jade and they had a son, Ben Skywalker, Han and Leia had three children (Jacen & Jaina the twins, Anakin their youngest son), Luke trains more Jedi as adults, while in Lucas' views and in Disney, he trains younger students. - The clones are not Mandalorian, in Lucas canon and Disney canon, they consider Kamino their home and they've never spoken any Mando'a.  Honestly,  I'm not sure any Mando'a has ever been spoken in any of Disney's stuff?  (Also, Mando'a was heavily linked with Karen Traviss' writing and, given that she's a Trump supporter and anti-BLM irl, some people really don't want to touch her stuff.) - The Jedi meditation mantra of "there is no emotion, there is peace" is purely a supplementary canon thing, it started in an '80s roleplaying book for the OT, then made its way to PT Legends stuff, and is referenced in Disney's continuity, but it does not exist in Lucas' continuity at all.  Also the "emotion yet peace" version is a prequels era thing, a lot of people will say it's an "older version" of the Jedi Code, but the only time we see it is during the Clone Wars (from the Kanan comics' flashbacks). - Grey Jedi do not exist in Lucas Canon or Disney canon.  I’m not sure if they’re around in some form in Legends (a lot of wild stuff happened in Legends), but they seem to be actively impossible to have in these canons, given the story group’s commentary about how you cannot use the dark side without consequences.  You can’t be a Jedi and use the dark side, pretty much. Oh, no, I'm kind of stuttering to a stop on trying to think of more major differences between the continuities, because honestly I'm better at answering direct questions than trying to come up with something.  (And even then, if I can't write a 25k essay, I feel bad, like, "Is this enough??  Or am I FAILING  here??" because sometimes Star Wars just Does Not Give Us Answers.  orz)

[fair-city-inquiries]

Roleplay Information

Randy here, hello!

Okay - this is also out of character but I figured this would be a neat way to introduce not just the roleplay but the character involved with it! So, let’s get right to it, shall we?

Wordgirl: What the Future Holds

Lore/Information

The blog technically is an alternate universe nicknamed “What the Future Holds”. In reality, it’s a post-canon universe set after the series finale ‘Rhyme and Reason’. The blog follows title lead, Becky Botsford, who is now in high school as a freshman. The timeline is exactly how it happened in the show, though there might be some differences! Not that it’s entirely necessary to know, to be honest.

This blog is specifically for Becky Botsford, not Wordgirl. What the Future Holds will be focusing on both her time in high school, as well as silly nonsense with headcanons mixed in!

Now, onto information about the character/muse, Becky Botsford!

Becky Botsford

Name: Rebecca Botsford

Nicknames: Becky/Becks (used by friends and/or family), Beckface (coined by Victoria Best), any variant of Becky - Becky Doodles, Beckaroni, etc - (all coined by members of the Botsford family), kid/kiddo (by Dr. Two Brains), dearie/dear/my dear (used by Granny May)

Age: 14 years old!

Birthday: [404.EROR], May 15 (presumed birthday by the Botsford’s)

Allies/Friends: Violet Heaslip, Todd “Scoops” Ming, Rose Franklin, Bob Botsford

Acquaintances: Theodore “Tobey” McAllister III, Victoria Best, Eileen

Enemies: [REDACTED]

Friendly Rivals: Theodore “Tobey” McAllister III

Family Members: [REDACTED], Adoptive - Sally Botsford (Mom), Tim Botsford (Dad), TJ Botsford (Younger Brother), Bob (“pet” monkey)

Backstory

Becky Botsford is the eldest child in the Botsford family. She was taken in and adopted by them when she’d still been a young girl after being found mysteriously in front of their house. An adept reader as she was somehow reading a newspaper while still being very little.

She grew up in Fair City which was rampant with super-villains, although most were stopped by super-heroine Wordgirl. Apparently Wordgirl and Becky have interacted before but of course - that’s as far as it goes. The audience knows otherwise. As a child, Becky attended Woodview Elementary School alongside her best friend, Violet Heaslip, and her first crush Todd “Scoops” Ming. Things were a bit trying with the supervillains in the city, but thankfully - Wordgirl managed to kick butt and send them to jail, and again and again every time they broke out.

Becky would eventually graduate from elementary and middle school. Now the school year has picked up again as she’s exploring her time as a freshman. She’s part of the Debate Team, as well as an honorary member of Book Club (though she also has her moments when she seems to have disappeared-).

Things of course, are about to get very interesting.

Headcanons & Additional Muse Information

⭐️ The Botsford’s are Afro-Latin Americans, much like Becky! Even if she is adopted - she is also Afro-Latina. She’s fluent in both English and Spanish, though who knows maybe she knows other languages~ ;))

⭐️ Becky is an avid reader. Canonically, she’s known for checking out ten books at once from the library! She has a soft spot for light romance-fantasy genres - though she also enjoys crime and mystery thrillers!

⭐️ Her fixation on PPMPPH never went away!

⭐️ Becky is autistic and ADHD, and you cannot convince me otherwise. This is canon now.

⭐️ She’s a bit nervous about juggling [REDACTED] and her high school classes but she’ll be fine. After all, she could handle it in the past… right?

⭐️ Becky and Violet’s friendship strengthened following “Rhyme and Reason”, but it also caused some unfortunate trauma, and that’s all you’re getting for now!

⭐️ She has freckles because I said so

More headcanons will be dropped soon!

If you’re a fellow roleplayer who wishes to interact with the blog, please please - let me know if you want to! 🙏

[cer-rata]

A (long) review of the first 5 issues of Wonder Woman (2023) *Full Spoilers*

So I'm a bit of a lapsed comic fan. I grew up on my dad's collection of 90's comics and kept up on and off until the new 52 which did a lot that really put me off. And frankly Marvel wasn't doing much better so I kind of moved onto different fandoms and some smaller runs. Recently however I've decided to try to get back into the hobby more seriously, and while there have been some books that I've really enjoyed, there's been a lot of meh plots and inconsistent characterization pretty much everywhere across the major publishers.

But I was nonetheless excited to see a new Wonder Woman ongoing. Out of the trinity, Diana was always my favorite (a fact that I, as a little closeted boy, kept secret for years. More on that later) and I was aware of some of Tom King's works and was pretty impressed with his "Vision" run, so I was cautiously optimistic about the prospect of a popular modern writer giving Diana some love, and was hoping for a story with some modern nuance and uplifting fun.

The bag has been...mixed at best.

So I'm going to try to be fair about this, because writing genuinely good and transformative comics isn't easy, especially when your editorial is completely unhinged. That being said I do have some serious concerns that I think are really important to talk about.

I'm also lapsed so I haven't read everything religiously the past couple years, so if I get something about canon wrong please correct me in the notes.

I'm going to break this down into a couple of sections to help organize my thoughts. The art is gorgeous generally so I'm not going to spend too much time on that. Let's start with:

Plot

The name of this arc is Wonder Woman: Outlaw, and the first issue is devoted to setting up that premise. The action kicks off when an amazon gets into a bar fight with a group of sexist men, and ends up slaughtering every man in the establishment. The government reacts to this development poorly and ends up ordering the forced deportation of the Amazons that had settled in the states. We're given narration by a mysterious figure, detailing how Diana and her friends lobbied and fought against this obvious injustice but failed, laid over images of an Amazon resisting her deportation with violence, and being gunned down in front of her wife and daughter.

But how, you ask, was the government able to rush through this bizarre reactionary stunt?

Well you see, this is all a part of a scheme by the Sovereign, the CEO of sexism and an American "king" whose family has used the "Lasso of Lies" to control the country for it's entire existence. He showed up in WW #800 with Trinity seeking him out for information, which explains why he's narrating this story. A Wonder Woman book where she isn't the POV character? I'll get more into that later.

Anyway the Sovereign wants to run all of the amazons out of the country or kill them, whatever works, as he believes they're a threat to his rule and masculinity as a whole.

So he's in the background. The foreground antagonist is Sargent Steel, who's been tasked with leading the Amazon deportation and is actively hunting Diana, who he eventually corners as she's paying her respects to the men that the rogue amazon killed. He tries to assassinate her, obviously fails, and Diana extracts some information from him and begins her investigation. See it turns out that after running out of other options, she's trying to hunt down the rogue amazon and figure out what's going on in the hopes that she solve the tensions.

So that's the basic premise of the arc, Diana is trying to solve a murder mystery while being actively hunted by the government. It's not a bad premise on its own honestly, so I was intrigued. The first issue is pretty, well laid out and interesting. The problem is that the following issues don't really deliver on that premise.

Instead of detective!Diana, we spent issue #2 on a (gorgeous) fight with the actual US army, intercut with a flashback of Diana's trial by combat in order to leave Themyscira in the first place. It really is a beautiful issue that really drives home how much of a badass she is, especially since she ends up not killing anyone in the process. Somehow. She did throw tanks at people so...I'm not sure how she...anyway.

Issue #3 is Diana walking into Steel's base, bulldozing through all the security and then bullying him to get some more information about the case, where she finds out that the Amazon is pregnant. Intriguing right? Meanwhile we see the Sovereign showing a young soldier around his house, which is filled with old American historical artifacts. See he wants this kid to push the narrative that Wonder Woman emasculated him and took away his pride, but the soldier doesn't really care? He's actually excited to have fought a superhero and live, and he thinks she's cool. So that won't do, and we're shown the capabilities of the Lasso of Lies, as the Sovereign uses it to implant feelings of discontent and depression into the young soldier, while also ordering him to write a manifesto about Wonder Woman taking his manliness and then to...kill himself. The idea being to create some bad press and push public support away from Diana.

Issue #4 is my favorite in the run so far, devoting most of it's time to watching Diana give a terminally ill kid who idolizes her the best day of his life. I'll get into it when I talk about dialogue later but I think it's the truest depiction of Diana so far, you get to see her kindness, generosity and wisdom. There is a nice moment where she comforts the kid about destiny and soothes his feelings of otherness in the face of the expectation that he should be drawn to a male hero. It's really nice. But also kind of a strange decision in the scope of the plot. As much as I love this moment, I think her taking a day away from her mission of stopping this political disaster and being on the run to just hang out with a kid is...odd from a pacing standpoint. With the lack of effort she's shown so far in dealing with Steel and the machinations of the Sovereign, and the threat to the Amazons happening mostly off screen and with very limited access how Diana's feeling about it all because she's not the narrator, it all wraps up in not feeling very urgent. It's mentioned that she's trying to control her emotions and that makes sense in theory, but with the way she's drawn and written she just seems unbothered.

Meanwhile, Amanda Waller tells Steel that they're just going to throw all of Diana's villains at her and call it a day.

Issue #5 Deals with the Wonder Girls, Cassie, Donna and Yara trying to convince Diana to accept some help. She challenges them to trials where if they can beat her she'll allow them to assist. It's kind of a neat concept, but it highlights a strange piece of this characterization of Wonder Woman: her desire to work alone.

It's...very Batman of her in ways that don't make much sense in the narrative and in the broader scope of her characterization. And it would be more understandable if the conflict was more focused, Diana hunting down Cheetah to try to reform her, a more personal mission. But this literally involves all of her people and could lead to actual war between the states and Themysicra. It seems weirdly shortsighted for her to shun help from adult Women who she's trained and worked with in the past. The rationalization that she doesn't want to endanger them falls completely flat because they're already in danger.

Also what is Yara referring to here? She acts like there's history of them working together and it not working out. Why do they insist on trying to make her a Wonder Girl in the first place?

Anyway they all lose but then ignore the terms of the wager and show up in her apartment in their costumes, not taking no for an answer. And like that they ignored that foolishness, but then I'm bothered that we spent almost an entire issue on this pointless conflict that didn't really teach us anything useful.

But I did say almost, and the rest of the issue is devoted to Steel and the Sovereign convincing some of Diana's greatest foes to join up on a squad to take her down.

Which is...a choice. Don't get me wrong, it's a cool sequence, and It's not an unusual conceit in comics to collect a bunch of villains to take down their nemesis, but as far as I was aware, in this continuity:

Giganta and Silver Swan had buried the hatchet

Circe also helped Diana defeat the upside down man, and seemingly dropped her animosity (and...I...I thought she was trapped in a mirror. How did they get her out?) But regardless, why on earth would Circe agree to work for anyone, especially the US gov?

Grail was never that focused on Diana in the first place, but I could see her wanting to kill her for kicks, but again, why would she agree to work with lesser beings and take orders from mortals?

Angle man is nuts, so, sure

And Dr. Psycho does hate Wonder Woman with a passion so sure.

But this doesn't take into account that if they were to be written correctly, Circe or Grail on their own are justice league threats, and even with the Wonder Girls helping that would be an uphill battle. And then you add all the others, and factor in the dubious choices here in relation to established canon and it leaves me concerned that none of these villains are going to be used properly to their potential, or written in character. The idea that they were convinced to do this in the first place is hand-waved away, likely because there are no real persuasive arguments to get someone like Grail or Circe to job like this.

But enough of that tangent. This upcoming slug fest raises the question: What happened to the investigation into this rogue Amazon? 5 issues in and all we know is her name and that she's pregnant. Diana doesn't even know her name though, because if she did she'd realize that she actually knew the woman. So 5 issues in and the main plot has taken a backseat to watching Wonder Woman be a badass and including a bunch of villains. And don't get me wrong, I love a badass Wonder Woman. I was absolutely thrilled watching her go to work on people. But if you strip away those exciting set pieces and try to follow the plot and themes, there's not much substance there.

And you know, now that we've got an overview of what's happening, let's talk about the greater ideas here.

Themes

So King clearly wants to investigate misogyny in this book, with his villain Johnny Sexism. Uh. I mean, The Sovereign, an old white man who hates women and believes in the divine right of kings and wields the literal Lasso of Lies. And his unwitting sidekick, Military Industrial Complex Man, AKA Sargent Steel.

So it's not inherently bad to personify an social issue. Comics often work in shorthand like that. The issue I have here is that when you have a mastermind character who has manipulated everything behind the scenes, who is ALSO a caricature of a social problem, instead of providing interesting analysis of a systemic problem and its sources and methods, you instead attribute it all to One Evil Man. Which is painfully reductive and misguided. Sexism is complicated, much more complicated that one evil wizard deciding that women are the problem. It's like if you created a vampire slave owner who had been manipulating the country from the shadows and created the system of racism. It's bizarre and not really analysis to suggest that you can just solve social issues by stopping individual bad actors.

The bit with the soldier really crystalized this for me. We are given a kind man who has no misogynistic tendencies, and then the CEO of sexism forcibly implants it into his mind. He's shown personally bullying the president into submission, manipulating Steel, most overt examples of sexism can be tied directly to the Sovereign, which is a bizarre choice that really flattens the narrative weight. Couple that with the fact that the Sovereign is shown to be completely ill-equipped to actually stop Diana. She literally walks through all of his roadblocks, doesn't seem like she's out of control of the situation outside of the opening explanation that she wasn't able to save her sisters. The only real threat so far is the team of villains, and that's framed as Amanda Waller's plan. Why isn't she the villain of this book? And he's the narrator. In a book about sexism, immigration and tribalism, the voice we hear the most is that of the Sovereign. And he doesn't have anything particularity interesting to say. He's not scary, he doesn't seem particularly competent and he provides no interesting analysis so I'm left wondering, why are we centering his perspective over Diana's? In a book lead by a feminist icon, about the evils of sexism, we are completely locked out of her head. She barely gets a chance to speak, and when she does it's clipped and robotic. There's no personality, and certainly no continuity to her popular depictions. I'm all for writers reaching for topics, trying to make social commentary. Some of the best arcs we've ever gotten deal with real issues. But you have to A: Know what you're talking about and B: Actually talk about it. Sexism bad, men bad--it's not enough, it's not analysis, it's not revelatory and by creating such ridiculous caricatures of hyper masculinity, you make it very easy for the average male reader, who I assume you're trying to engage with, to separate themselves from the equation. It's thematic window dressing, and frustrating to see in a Wonder Woman book of all places. I don't think that only woman can write women, that's ridiculous and removes the responsibility to be better from male writers. But, if you're going to talk about social issues that apply to a group you're not a part of, you'd better know what you're talking about. Hell even if you're in that group you still have to know what you're talking about. This is feminism that starts and ends with "Sexism bad" and it's 2024, we have to be smarter about this.

That being said, I think issue #4 has bits of the right idea. Seeing Diana representing something greater than the sexist division that the world perpetuates is great. I felt incredibly seen as a little boy who loved Wonder Woman, and that moment of kindness meant a lot. We're given believable symptoms of sexism, from Jack's dad being uncomfortable with his son idolizing Diana. and Jack having internalized that judgement. It's handled gently and instead of just beating us over the head with obvious allegory, it shows us a taste of what Wonder Woman stands for: a better, more loving world. And it's mostly because it's the most insight that we get from her about how she thinks. The best part of the book about Wonder Woman is, shockingly, the part about Wonder Woman. Why can't we get more of that?

Dialogue

Man it's weird. King is clearly snappy, with a decent sense of humor. There's lots of fun exchanges in this book, particularly the backups, which I'll get to soon. He's pretty good at dialogue, which makes the way he writes Diana so bizarre. Awkward sentence structure, aloof characterization, the grating repeated use of "No thank you" as some sort of catch phrase. What? king has taken the warm beating heart of the trinity and made her distant and robotic. It's kind of impressive. And some of the rationale is that she's in emotional turmoil and trying to maintain appearances. But that's not reflected in the art at all, even when she's alone. We're told that she's conflicted and angry but almost never shown it. She feels like a side character in her own book most of the time. Speaking of side characters:

The Backups

So the running plot here is Damian Wayne and Jon Kent...babysitting? raising? Diana's daughter Lizzie Prince, who is eventually known as the hero Trinity in the future. And it's cute, particularly when they're all younger. King really gets Damian and Jon's characterization and writes some really fun exchanges.

Issue #4 and #5's backups are a little weaker but still really fun.

So my question is...why is the best characterization in this Wonder Woman book the backups starring the Supersons? I love the Supersons! Why are they here? Why would Diana choose them to watch her daughter? Why isn't she on Themyscira or being watched by any of her adult friends, especially those who have actual experience with children? It's fun but feels shoehorned and poorly reasoned. Honestly? I get the feeling that king wants to write this more than he does the main book, and it's mind boggling, because I wouldn't hate him writing supersons, and his version of Jon is the most Jon we've gotten in a while. So why is he writing Wonder Woman?

Conclusion

I think I'll keep reading, mostly to fuel my desire to see what they do with her actual villains, but it's not the smart book I was hoping for. It takes pretty big liberties with characterization and recent canon and there's not much actual commentary to find here. The art and the action are incredible, but the story that should be supporting it is pretty anemic and frustrating, with moments of genuine quality that makes the rest of the book even more disappointing.

Honestly? Just read Amazons Attack instead. Better dialogue, better pacing, better characterization, just more fun.

[my-pjo-stuff]

HEY DID U KNOW THAT THERES GONNA BE A NEW TOTAN ARMY OC IN THE TV SHOW!!?!!!

her name is Alison and the description is

"she went to Camp Half-Blood in her youth, but now lives in the mortal world"

Also the casting call is for actresses 18-22yrs old so how old do you think she's gonna be in cannon? im think in late teenager in her first appearance

Also what are your thoughts on the TV show? i like it so far, and i think that it is taking a much more jaded approach. It's leaning more heavily on the "gods are awful" bit and i think it's gonna be different but still awesome

To be quite honest, I have mixed feelings about the show.

Ireally like what they did with Luke and the changes they made to thale confrontation at the end! That shot of Luke’s face with these watery eyes was GOLDEN. It's my personal favorite scene, really shows he isn't a total villain and actually VERY sympathetic.

I just love the Luke scenes in general.

But I disliked the changes they made with the pearls- mostly because personally I just found it unnecessary yk ?

Another thing I disliked (probably the main thing I disliked) is Percy missing the deadline. Mostly because I just think it makes Poseidon and the gods look to good????

Like, to me a core thing of PJO is how shitty the gods actually are. INCLUDING Poseidon (If you really think about it). I don't think him giving up for Percy was really in-character for him.

I do enjoy the conflict it could bring with Luke though, where Percy only gets to really see the good side of his godly parent and thus can’t really understand Luke and his group. Thus we can have a Percy who has that slow realization over the course of the show.

I’m not sure what to think of how the show did Hermes. That whole talk about him being unable to get to Luke because of his fate or whatever….eh. Personally to me that's just a load of bullcrap and excuses- I really hope the show reveals and treats it like that too and doesn't try to make Hermes innocent.

Because frankly said? Luke was comically easy to prevent had Hermes just not sucked SO MUCH.

Like yeah Poseidon advised him not to go but A)Poseidon broke his how much advice with Percy, so it’s canon that Hermes didn’t HAVE to stay away, and B) how could Hermes genuinely apologizing and showing care for Luke and May have POSSIBLY made it worse?

So yeah, pretty mixed bag for me. I like some, I dislike some- I’ll definitely watch S2 though!

As for Alison, I honestly assume she’ll be around the same age as Luke. Possibly as a love interest for him?

Personally I don’t really care much what she’s gonna be exactly, I’m just excited for more Titan Army content!

I’m hoping we’ll get more focus on them in the show, especially when we throw Alison into the mix. The books sadly had the TA quite underdeveloped, which I hope the show can fix.

But honestly? I’m happy if they keep up the Luke scenes to the same quality they were so far. Real 10/10.